I don't think anyone who has not had firsthand experience with food
allergies really "gets it"--- and this does not include most of the
waiters we will ever encounter, unfortunately!

I attended a "Mommy & Me" type class with my milk-allergic daughter when
she was 2 & 3 years old and was always amazed at how many of the other
moms would bring unsafe snacks when it was their turn to bring the snack,
even though I handed out a sheet to each of them with suggestions for milk-
free snacks AND verbally asked them almost every week to please bring the
packaging with them so I could doublecheck the ingredient list.  It would
make my blood boil when they would disregard all these requests and then
put a cupcake in front of my daughter!  I'd have to run over and take it
away from her and the mom would usually say something like, "No, I don't
have the package but it is JUST a regular vanilla cupcake!"

OK, done venting!  On the positive side I will say that our entire family
does eat healthier as a result of my daughter's allergy, and maybe in that
way, we are all the better for it in the long run.