<<Disclaimer: Verify this information before applying it to your situation.>>

Hello List Members:

I received a wide range of responses on this one (see below for original
question) ranging from "the daughter is rude and in considerate" to "the
mother should have tactfully mentioned the flour dust" to "what was she
doing sitting in the same room as an open bag of flour" to "I don't really
see that there are any social implications to having CD."

I was suprised at the number of people who commented on the quality of the
mother-daughter relationship - many of these were hurtful so I have chosen
not to repeat them.

I was also suprised that a few people said they would take a little taste
so as not to hurt their hostess's feelings.

Generally, it seemed to make quite a difference whether or not one should
make a fuss, depending on the closeness of the relationship involved. The
following response sums it up:

- I think that if it is your daughter or son or a close relative, there is
absolutely nothing wrong in letting them know of your restraints, and
also asking for cooperation.  Wouldn't they expect the same from you??
I agree with "not making a fuss" if it is an acquaintance, a work
situation, or if I am at a party amongst alot of different people whom I
am not that close to.............

Here are some more responses:

- Re: the mother who did not drink the tea but said nothing.  I'd say
she missed an  opportunity to quietly educate her daughter - not with
crossness or implied guilt, but a gentle reminder of how easy it is
to make a celiac sick.  People need to learn to be sensitive to the
needs of others in many ways.  This is only one way, but an important
one.  I am sure the girl loved her mother and would not want to make
her sick.

- What we have to do is not try to be a mouse in the corner, but be the
pleasant lap dog that has some very specific needs.

- I will never stay quiet - its in my best interest.

- I think your friend did the classy and respectful thing - didn't make a
fuss.

- The situation that you described, in my opinion, has nothing to do with
celiac.  I think we all have different personalities and we all would have
handled that situation in our own way.

- The only time I run into problems is when someone makes something "just
for" me...
since I have no control over the conditions under which something was made
and
asking if their kitchen was "completely clean of all traces of wheat"
could be really rude, I just thank them politely, serve myself a piece,
perhaps even take a nibble, thank them profusely, and then find
somewhere discrete to dispose of it.

- I am pretty frank about it.  I don't eat wheat "poison" myself and would
not dream of serving it to anyone else.  Don't be afraid to advocate for us
whenever the opportunity arrives.  We need to raise the public
consciousness.

- Would she have been as polite and not wanting to make a fuss if it was
arsenic or rat poison?


Here is the original post:

<<Disclaimer: Verify this information before applying it to your
situation.>>

Dear List Members:

I've been thinking a lot lately about the social implications of having
celiac diease, and wondering how others deal with awkward social
situations. For instance, the following story was related to me by a fellow
celiac: "I was at my daughter's house(non-celiac) for tea one afternoon and
she decided to bake some cookies. As she measured and scooped out the
ingredients, a cloud of wheat flour dust settled over the table upon which
I had set my cup of tea. I quietly pushed my cup away and didn't drink any
more of it. I didn't say anything because I don't like to cause a fuss."

Would anyone like to comment on this topic?

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