On Monday 17 Jun 2002 4:58 pm, Cleveland, Kyle E. wrote:
> Too much like work, I guess.  My mom says that a southern breakfast
> is very difficult to cook as everything gets done at the same time.
>
> She's got Laura to the point where she (L.) can fix decent biscuits
> 'n' gravy (or "gray-bee", as my son says), but Laura toes the
> yankee line on green beans.  IMHO, you can't cook green beans too
> long, and they are worthless without a ham hock or salt pork cooked
> in.
>
> My mom got Laura a book for Christmas, called "Spoonbread &
> Scuppernong Wine", written by some relative.  Laura was all
> gushy-gushy with the "thank you"s and all, but I don't believe
> she's even cracked it open since New Years.  I've tried some of the
> recipes, but hell, I can darn near burn water so it's of no use to
> me.
>
> Let's face it, Ken.  We love our wives more than life itself, but
> can't nobody cook like Mama!  Am I right?
>
> -Kyle
>

One thing my school taught was "survival cookery", really dangerous
"gadgets" though - I remember a 1 inch piece of timber with 3 6inch
nails pointing upwards (for holding recalcicrant vegetables during
peeling), effective but deadly. My risk assessment favoured the odd
"peeled knuckle" rather than skewering more sensitive areas!!!

Mind you, the kitchen is the most dangerous room in the house (and not
just because Lin is in there!!). There should be government health
warnings on Cauliflower Cheese for example. When my eldest was a baby
I remember cooking a Colly Cheese, boiled the Colly, made a cheese
sauce (both relatively low risk), but then decided to put it in a
casserole, sprinkle cheddar on top and zap for 10 minutes at full
heat in the oven. Mistake, whilst removing casserole dish, spasmed,
tossed the whole thing in the air where it landed on the bare skin of
my arm, ouch. Spent 20 minutes with my whole arm immersed in cold
water, thought I'd got away with it, maybe I would have but my
daughter decided to wet her toweling nappy (diaper) while I was
carrying her, all over the raw arm. You have no idea the pretty
colours which can grow on skin!!

Cheers

Deri