Hi Kyle,
I am not trying to pick a fight - the first post made me wince - mainly
becasue I was thinking of the kids - if you say that stuff at home you
little ones could repeat it to the older sister and her feeling could be
hurt. Its incredible what the little ones say sometimes that they heard.
And no you are not suspect becasue you are man. The rotten parent thing
works both ways. Not everyone is cut out to be parent - and that is not a
gender thing. I have never been for the Mom unquestioning getting the child
- I think the child needs to be with the parent that is best equipped to
care for it. And frankly sometimes they should go to a third party that can
care for them.I just took in a kid who has two scewed up parents.
There is no garuntee how we spend the money. The law can't dictate that
any more than it can dictate how much you spend on your kids. And no, its
not that about being a man. Its about the kids. They are the loser's in
this. It wouldn't hurt to remind people of going on and have brief word of
background - may not remember in detail what discussed years ago. Leave the
bad feelings and getting even to God. Believe me, he will do a better job
than you ever will and the bitterness isn't a good thing for you. With all
the challenges you have you don't need the heart burn. Its so easy to fall
into that mode but you married her and had a child - and it sounds like a
great kid at that. That should outweigh any sum of money. You might checking
into grants for her for college. What does she want be? Amber still has no
idea.
However for Amber and also my students - yup - I have lots of disabled
students in my classes I am back on the list. I never did figure out what
exactly happened - but I do know Betty talks behind peoples backs really
badly. After all I was friends with her and listened to her talk about the
other people in her life - I admit to being stupid becasue she always raved
about how wonderful I was to my face while talking badly about everyone -
including the list people ( yup, she talked bad about you guys too - not
that I would repeat what she said - and yes I do remember). At least if I
have something on my mind - I say to your face. I got an very illumainating
e-mail from her maybe 2 months ago after a phone call that we had a great
time with - I had suddenly joined the ranks of her Mother, her Uncle, Jody
and Ann with the forcing her to do things. Amazingly she remembered coming
to my house and being made fun off - when the rest of us it remember it as a
great party where she reconnected with someone she knew from signing ( sign
language). And as Amber pointed out she was always the first person to bad
mouth Christians, the same way she jumped on the bad mouthing the TABs.
There are people on the planet who are like that, and frankly unless you are
close to them - you wouldn't know. Just like I am clueless as to what she
told you all about me - beyond that I doubt it was good and I doubt it was
true. Her friend Jody loved her, and I never saw her Betty anyway other than
lovingly and kind. Her family also. I tried to make allowances becasue it
is shock when you become disabled and a huge adjustment. I brought to the
list becasue I believed you guys could help her and being list adminsitrator
would give her raise to get up. I had no idea she was two faced. I do now
and I get to be the villian for a number of reasons but mainly becasue I am
different. Betty was one of those - don't let any good deed go unpunished
things!! LOL As if I can't get into enough trouble on my own!! Personally
as far as people go - stupidity isn't limited to any group as far as I know
each and everyone of us practices it liberally periodically. I think you
guys painted me Black when just like everyone else I am grey.
Trisha
> Ah well, in Ohio, "Tender Years Doctrine" is the standard, meaning that a
> child under age twelve will remain with Mom at all costs, unless Mom is
> committed or in jail. I didn't see the advantage in putting Adrienne
> through the trauma of not seeing her Mom--my options were that 1) she
> remain
> the residential parent or 2) I press charges that she had raped her
> sixteen
> year old boyfriend in order to have her committed.
>
> So, I paid my child support, purchased every stitch of clothes the kid
> ever
> wore and bought groceries for her every week. I am upset that the states
> mandate support, but do nothing to ensure the money is being spent on the
> child. So, I was paying $550/month in support while Adrienne was in her
> mom's home. I will now be paying $1100/month for her to attend a private
> liberal arts college near Philly (actually, the tuition is $26K/yr--she
> has
> an academic scholarship for the other $13K). My joy is based that my ex
> can
> no longer live off her daughter's child support (and will have to rely on
> the support from the other fathers whose children she bore). Yes, one can
> actually live a rather comfortable life living off of one's children.
>
> But, I am a man, therefore I am suspect from the beginning, right Trisha?
> Possibly you don't remember situations that were discussed prior to your
> timely hiatus from the list?
>
> If you are wanting to "pick a fight", let me know now. I will not fight
> you, nor will I respond to any more of your posts, public or private.
>
> -----Original Message-----
> From: Barber, Kenneth L. [mailto:[log in to unmask]]
> Sent: Monday, June 03, 2002 11:35 AM
> To: [log in to unmask]
> Subject: Re: current events
>
>
> i would guess that all the states have a formula. i know alabama has an
> amount and it is figured on the % of total income of both pasrents what is
> actually paid. the one that makes more pays more of the expense. although
> nenjamin stayed with me, i got nothing from his mom even though i could
> have. i am happy to have raised my child. he don't even remember her.
> judy
> is mom.
>
> -----Original Message-----
> From: Trisha Cummings [mailto:[log in to unmask]]
> Sent: Monday, June 03, 2002 11:27 AM
> To: [log in to unmask]
> Subject: Re: current events
>
>
> I wasn't commenting on that - the child support portion was what I was
> commenting on - and the states involvement in the amount - depending on
> the
> amount of the child support and the years he paid it and the amount of
> college donation - he could be paying the same amount both ways. Would he
> have paid more or less if it was voluntary? The state the amount - don't
> know how - Virginia has 600 limit and that is divided between the two
> incomes - by the percentage you put in. He will have paid - $36,000 in
> child support ( over 12 years) and he has no intention of helping with
> college or helping buy a car. In the mean time - I have put out - $65,000,
> and that doesn't count - the cost of her medical care - like insurance -
> which I carry and the co-pays and left over balances, nor the up and
> coming
> college amount of ?????? - nor the $15,000 for new car. I truly don't
> begudge him his money - okay so he has new Honda motorcycle and a new car
> and new digital camera nad computer and other stuff - I do begudge him the
> extra time I am away from Amber - so we can live. He spends no time with
> Amber, never calls her and until recently spazed out with the child
> support
> - the kid had no money and lost mom time. The kids want me home. When
> Jackie
> was living there - she waitress part-time and gave me money so I could
> stay
> home with them. The kids need us and our presence, and child support can
> help with that. We only have kids for such a short time, shouldn't at
> least
> be with them then?
>
> Trisha
>
>
> > i think kyle has already said he intends to continue with money for
> > college
> > voluntarily.
> >
> > -----Original Message-----
> > From: Trisha Cummings [mailto:[log in to unmask]]
> > Sent: Monday, June 03, 2002 10:53 AM
> > To: [log in to unmask]
> > Subject: Re: current events
> >
> >
> > I don't see what the difference is - one should voluntarily pay for one
> > kids
> > - you do for the ones that live with - infact if you consider how much
> the
> > cost per month - child support usually looks piddly next it - I get $250
> a
> > month Amber, and put out at least $700. I get nothing for Alex and put
> out
> > the same amount. I arrive at this by dividing the house, utilities and
> > food
> > by three - then adding individual costs. Imagine the mess I would be in
> if
> > I
> > didn't work 3 jobs. And this says nothing about the time spent running
> > them
> > around and vacations etc. Why does it matter that the state set limit?
> If
> > you checked out the number kids who never get child support like Alex,
> > perhaps you would understand the necessity for state set limits. The sad
> > truth is many people value money over people. Hate your ex-wife by all
> > means
> > but don't begrudge you child your support - finanacially or emotionally.
> > It
> > is not the child fault.
> >
> > Trisha
> >
> >
> > > Biggest raise I've ever had in my life, but college starts this fall
> > > <sigh>.
> > > Oh well, at least it's Dad's decision to open his wallst, and not the
> > > State
> > > doing it for him!
> > >
> > > -----Original Message-----
> > > From: BG Greer, PhD [mailto:[log in to unmask]]
> > > Sent: Monday, June 03, 2002 10:19 AM
> > > To: [log in to unmask]
> > > Subject: Re: current events
> > >
> > >
> > > In a message dated 6/3/02 8:13:33 AM, [log in to unmask] writes:
> > >
> > > >eh, congratsa kyle...
> > >
> > > Me too, Kyle. Now you, Laura and the kids will have more "cheese" to
> go
> > > around.
> > >
> > > Bobby
|
