I know this is an old thread, but Outlook's default displays my messages
newest to oldest.
I agree sincerely, Deri, that aging folks often feel as they are being left
on life's rubbish pile--especially in Western cultures where youth and
physical beauty are the ideal.
I also agree that it is as important to allow folks to serve you as it is to
serve others. I can do many things (fewer as I age, though), but I do enjoy
giving people the satisfaction of "helping" me do something I know I can
manage on my own. We all feel good when we help others (most of us,
anyway).
I think the man in Kat's case, though, went beyond the pale in making a
show. I could be wrong; I wasn't in his head to know his motive. I do know
that most of us CPers also need to feel "useful" and "needed". It certainly
presents a conundrum when both parties need to feel the world "needs" them,
no?
-Kyle
-----Original Message-----
From: Deri James [mailto:[log in to unmask]]
Sent: Friday, August 30, 2002 5:01 PM
To: [log in to unmask]
Subject: Re: Sensitivity (Was: Re: Re: Disney)
On Wednesday 28 Aug 2002 2:47 pm, Cleveland, Kyle E. wrote:
> Nope. Kat, you did right. I'm sure your tact was spot on, too.
> The old line, "they're just trying to be helpful" may be true, but
> it usually comes from folks who don't know what it's like to be
> "singled out" for assistance. I don't mind if someone asks
> off-handedly, "Can I help you out?", but "grandstanding" about
> being helpful embarrasses the "helpee" and makes the "helper" look
> like an ass. Let him worry about his own "manly pride". You did
> what needed to be done--most of us have been in your shoes.
>
> -Kyle
Basically I agree, but, considering the guys age (70) I can appreciate
his desire to be "useful". As you age it becomes harder to feel that
you are "needed", kids have left home - independent now, may be a
widower. The "helper" often receives more benefit than the "helped".
I almost always accept help (and give gratitude) to anyone who offers
to help, even things I can do myself, because I consider I'm helping
them by accepting!!
Cheers
Deri
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