Why are we obsessed about ourselves sometimes? Have you ever stop to
think if you are being self-centered, having too much self-love and
being overdosed with self-ego? These may be very good questions to ask
oneself a few times in a lifetime. A thin line separates these
concepts. Understanding the underlying effect of these concepts as an
individual and how they apply to the core values of a society yearning
for a tranquil coexistence may not be as difficult as it may seem.
Self-esteem is to hold oneself in high favorable regards, feeling
worthy of good life and good treatment by others. This results from
self-respect, which includes competence, confidence, mastery,
achievement, independence and freedom as well as respect from others,
which may include recognition, acceptance, status and appreciation. A
healthy self-esteem calls for a realistic appraisal of ones’
capacities, achievements and set goals, and begins with deserved
respect from others. The building of self-esteem begins in childhood
when we learn new skills, or take risks. This growth is stifled by
overly critical or abusive parents, who in effect, sends a message that
one will never be good enough, that there is just something inherently
bad about oneself.
The ability to hold unto our good qualities and strengths even when we
are feeling bad about ourselves or something we have done interprets
our self-loving traits. The strength to see our shortcomings, to love
ourselves enough to know that we can learn and grow. Not to give up on
ourselves because we are not perfect, made a mistake or have some
problems. In other words, we are worthy of love in spite of all our
shortcomings.
Self-esteem and self-love gone too far tend to breed self-centeredness.
The world revolves around us; we are at the center of our world, we
think that we are better than anyone is or everyone else and so are
more deserving – selfish! Selfishness and self-centeredness at the
detriment of society should be avoided by all means necessary. Deeply
enshrined and ordained by many in our society is the concept of
selfishness in the extreme form where it becomes detrimental to social
democracy and tranquility. This is clearly translated in our daily
interactions and manifested by those with social and civic
responsibility. Why is it so hard for us to realize that at the helm of
social gratitude will come self-actualization with easy reach? What we
see going on in our civil service leaves a lot to be desired. What we
are witnessing in the Gambia today is in my opinion, an extreme case of
executive micro-management of the civil service reinforced by selfish
tendencies. Changes in government, naturally, have a bearing on
political-administrative relationships. The political and bureaucratic
leadership is often both the object and subject of change in government
machinery. The existing bureaucratic patterns do have an impact on the
type and content of changes and the way in which they are implemented.
In light of the many demands made of the government by concerned and
genuine citizens, private organizations and by international
organizations, the traditional notion of a neutral civil servant
appears out of place. As someone supposedly operating in a hierarchical
organization and as someone who – like a chameleon – can change colors
with a new political leader in power, the civil servant appears out of
place in the world of modern African governance, characterized by
fragmentation, horizontal leadership and self-centeredness. However, it
is really the question whether this civil servant has ever existed
other than as the traditional scarecrow to be burnt in the course of
continuous reform dictated by selfish tendencies.
To have good self-esteem and self-love, one need not be self-centered.
One need not be the best looking or have the most money. Self-
centeredness reeks of arrogance and a cover-up for low self-esteem and
lack of self-love. Good self-esteem demands actions in accordance with
our conscious and or unconscious beliefs about what is the best in a
human being. This often comes from deep down us. Self-confidence and
security comes from earned respect from others and self-respect from
acting in accordance what a good human being would do in a given
situation. There is usually an honesty and authenticity in such a
person, one who acknowledges their mistakes and shortcomings and
therefore work on them. Is that our self-imposed president - Yaya
Jammeh?
Abdoulie A. Jallow
(BambaLaye)
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