Just for laughs:

Some Tom Swifties

1) "I can't believe I ate that whole pineapple!" Tom said,
Dolefully.

2) "That's the last time I'll ever pet a lion," Tom said,
offhandedly.

3) "I'll never sleep on the railroad tracks again!" Tom
said, beside himself.

4) "That's the third electric shock I've gotten this week!"
Tom said, revolted.

5) "I'm never anywhere on time," Tom related.

6) "I won't let a flat tire get me down," Tom said,
without despair.

7) "That car you sold me has defective steering!" Tom said,
straightforwardly.

8) "I've been on a diet," Tom expounded.

9) "I'll have to send that telegram again," Tom said,
remorsefully.

10) "I keep banging my head on things," Tom said,
bashfully.

11) "Look at that jailbird climb down that wall," Tom
observed with condescension.

12) "I remember the midwest being flatter than this,"
Tom explained.

13) "That's the third time my teacher changed my grade,"
Tom remarked.

14) "I'll have to dig another ditch around that castle,"
Tom sighed, remotely.

15) "I've lived through a lot of windstorms," Tom
regaled.

16) "I haven't caught a fish all day!" Tom said,
without debate.

17) "That mink coat is on wrong side out," Tom
inferred.

The trouble with practical jokes is that very often they get
elected.   - Will Rogers