Hey guys! A colleague sent this. Thought it was good for a chuckle (Deri,
you might vant to tak ze speshal not <g>):
-----Original Message-----
From: Randall, Ellen
Sent: Monday, March 18, 2002 11:24 AM
To: Cleveland, Kyle E.
Subject: FW: EuroEnglish or is it German
Kyle, I sent this to John Minnich this a.m. Since he forwarded it to Tim
and Joe, I thought you too might enjoy it. Ellen
----
The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby
English will be the official language of the EU rather than German, which
was the other possibility.
As part of the negotiations, Her Majesty's government conceded
that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a
5-year phase-in plan that would be known as "EuroEnglish."
In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will
make the sivil servants jump with joy. The hard "c" will be dropped in
favor of the "k:" This should klear up konfusion and keyboards kan have
one less letter. There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond
year, when the troublesome "ph" will be replased with the "f." This will
make words like "fotograf" 20% shorter.
In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to
reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible. Governments
will enkourage the removal of double letters, which have always
ben a deterent to akurate speling. Also, al wil agre that the horible mes
of the silent "e"s in the language is disgraseful and they should go
away.
By the 4th year, peopl wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing
"th" with "z" and "w" with "v". During ze fifz year, ze unesesary "o" kan
be dropd from vords kontaining "ou" and similar changes vud of kors be
aplid to ozer kombinations of leters.
After zis fifz yer, ve vil hav a reli sensibl riten styl. Zer vil be
no mor trubls or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu understand ech
ozer.
ZE DREM VIL FINALI KUM TRU!!!!! And zen ve vil take over ze vorld!!!!
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