In a message dated 8/11/2001 1:03:13 AM US Eastern Standard Time,
[log in to unmask] writes:

<< Consider the
 recommendations of this list.  The most important thing is not to give
 up, but do battle!  >>

The war really is hell. It saps your will to fight, and drains your mind and
soul. Somehow, people are managing to wage a good war.

I started the Wilson's protocol on myself, so was back to hypothyroidism for
a bit. The flashbacks scared the heck out of me. Being hypothyroid, for me,
is that blend of lethargy, pleasure in going to sleep, and an inability to
mobilize enough energy to get out of a burning building until one sees the
flames.

It vividly brought back memories of lost years, depression, fatigue, and lack
of awareness that make fighting back almost impossible. I was ready to quit
at the beginning of the past week except: 1. My wife said she was only on a
bit more sustained release T3 than I, and felt "pretty good;" 2. I had
isolated moments of having enough energy and not hurting, over the past
weeks; and 3. I didn't want to face patients, and say that I was putting them
on something that I couldn't stand. (I don't know, but I didn't feel right
about it.)

Sometimes, patients will come in and tell their story; and I will feel
overwhelming sadness. Not for them, but for countless people who they
represent. Those people who have not been able to escape. Those poor souls
who still think that their docs are always right (Don't blindly trust any
doc, not even me!) and who go on year after year with higher blood pressures,
weight, and cholesterol. Those poor people who are the ultimate victims of
the pharmaceutical companies' rape and pillage marketing.

Looking back, I am in awe of people who do escape. Everything is stacked
against winning. The docs are taught NOTHING about the clinical picture of
hypothyroidism.

Med School fed us the same crap the rest of society is fed: people weigh too
much because they eat too much (as one who was getting a bigger suit size
each year, and is a 3 time, Life Time member of Weight Watchers-I don't buy
that lie for a second).

Or they don't exercise enough. Well, it is damn hard to exercise when
everything hurts, and there is a very short supply of energy to get from the
alarm clock to the end of the day.

And they taught us that people feel horrible because they have an
"antidepressant deficiency."

Sometimes, while I'm raging at all the docs who were too stupid to help, I
realize that unless I can find a way to forgive them, I have to be condemned
for all the things I missed. From time to time, I find myself apologizing to
a patient because I didn't know the critical bit that seems to be helping,
years earlier. It always surprises me that they seem to find it easier to
accept than I do.

Like Skipper, I realize that it is a nightmare to awaken to find one's life a
shambles simply because no one could or would help. I am taking extra time
with patients to warn about recovery being more painful, at times, than
staying sick.  It is so helpful to talk with other survivors.

My highest esteem to all those who are actively fighting in The Thyroid Wars.
We escaped, now we have to get our brothers and sisters out of the clutches
of a Medical System run by ignorance, prejudice, and drug advertising rather
than the patients' well-being.

Doc Don

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