--- Yvonne Craig <[log in to unmask]> wrote:
>  I probably don't need to tell you this but the most
> important thing you =
> can do is to keep talking about it. The worst thing
> is for a parent to =
> never hear their child's name mentioned again. So
> many people are =
> uncomfortable - they don't know what to say, they
> don't want to upset the =
> person, they are afraid of making things worse by
> reminding the person of =
> their loss. Nothing could be farther from the truth.


I loved a Miss Manner's answer to a question from a
classmate attending a 10
yr reunioun and finding out that another classmate she
had strong feelings
for but lost touch with over the years had died
several years before. She
was wondering weather it would be Ok to write his
folks with her fond
memories or if it was inapropiate in that it would
stir up sad feelings for
the parents. Miss Manners answer:

Dear Gentle Reader:It would be extremely kind thing to
do. Forget whatever
you've heard about closure in grief. Miss Manners
assures you that these
people still remember that thier son is dead,they
still think of him all the
time and they would be highly gratified to know that
some one else does too


Joanne

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