----- Original Message -----
From: "Donald B. White" <[log in to unmask]>
To: <[log in to unmask]>
Sent: Monday, February 04, 2002 11:18 AM
Subject: Regional usage


> When I was in Miami (1971-74), the Northern influence (among we
Anglos) was strong enough that "you guys" was common usage except among
those of unmixed Southern heritage. But when I moved to NC (1975-76), only
those of us from Up North used it. I recall witnessing one such person (not
me) addressing a mixed (or possibly all-female) group of fellow students as
"you guys" and having one pretty Southern belle reply in a hurt tone,
"We're not guys, why did you call us that?"

Come to think of it, I guess she'd have objected to being called a "fellow
student" too! <
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Don,

I actually witnessed a meeting at our church where I and another of our age
group (40 somethings) got totally reamed by a woman of my mom's era (60-70
somethings) for using the term "you guys" when addressing a mixed gender group
of teens.....

she had had to battle tooth and nail to escape the prison of "housewifery" and a
verbally and psychologically abusive husband, and was very hurt and felt
demeaned by our incredulty at what seemed to us to be a really petty
complaint...  but after thinking about it, I decided that it WAS dismissive of
the importance and sacrifice of the struggles that they (my mom and her
generation of women) went through to break the barriers for us young'uns...
(nice, gender-neutral term, and Southern too!   ;)  )

I know it can get ridiculous sometimes, trying to be totally PC.... and so many
of our racial, cultural, and gender biases are solidly institutionalized and we
are almost unconscious of them...

but the next debate this woman instigated at the church meeting that day was
over the naming of the new congregation, which group had already decided it
didn't want to be a "church"...
tradition in our faith has always designated "non-church" groups as
"fellowships",
but after much frustration, eye-rolling,  wrangling, talking, sighing, and other
gyrations, we settled on "community"... in part, just to appease her, and get
the heck out of the meeting....
and you know what?
it's great!   Hopedale UU Community .....  she was correct, and right, too   ;)
the more we use it, the more we've come to love it, the name and all it
entails...
sometimes it takes a little extra work and someone willing to go to the mat to
make a change for the better I guess...   ;)

deb


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