Hi Everyone,

Sorry, but I need to vent. I sent what I considered was a nice, rather
diplomatic e-mail to the neurologist who did my intrathecal baclofen trial
today, asking (what I thought was politely), if he could speak with the
neurosurgeon to see if my surgerry might be done sometime this month,
while I am still at home, so I don't have to live the rest of my semester
in pain, half doped up on morphine, clonazepam, and oxazazepam. I got a
very icy reply back saying that he would not "harrass  Dr. Parrent"
(neurosurgeon), regarding my pump placement,  and basically not to e-mail
the neurologist anymore because if all of his patients e-mailed him as
much as I did (three times this weekend to correct a mistake that he made
regarding an EMG the neurologiust swore he had not ordered for me when he
really did order the test), he would not get any work done. From my point
of view, I a, just asking questions that SHOULD HAVE BEEN ANSWERED AND
WERE NOT DUE TO THE PHYSICIANS LACK OF TIME, THE NEUROSURGEON BEING IN THE
OPERATING ROOM THE WHOLE DAY OF MY TESTING, ETC. The fact remains that
because I attend school in Ottawa, I can't have surgery whenever my name
(oh sorry NUMBER, BECAUSE THATS WHAT I AM FEELING LIKE) COMES UP ON THEIR
PRETTTY, PERFECT LITTLE LIST. I am in so much pain, and I CAN'T HANDLE HOW
TIRED  THE ORAL MEDS MAKE ME, EVEN THOUGH THEY HELP. I had really hoped
that these people would be more compassionate, but apparently, they ARE
NOT. I don't know what to do... I can't handle this anymore, and just
wanted so much for things to go my way for once... The surgery takes only
1 and a half hours out of their lives, and can improve mine so much...
Can't anybody see that? I am just so tired of suffering, and being told my
surgery isn't important because it is not anything life threatening. I
can't handle this. I had wanted to be a physician for awhile, but don't
think I have the heart to see people as numbers.

Does anyone have advice of things to read or do? I am beside myself with
pain, both physical and emotional at the moment.

Please say a few prayers for me. I need them.
Jenn