First of all, I want to thank Steve Margolis for his insight. I had never
thought of myself as so "coldly clinical". I guess sometimes I come across
to others as someone who sees things from a more academic or scientific
perspective.
        But I am human, also. I have had problems with anger all my life.
However, I keep it in most times, because I got the message early in my
childhood that I had to be a nice guy. I seemed to think that no one would
accept a CP with a nasty personality. I, therefore, stuffed a lot of anger
and I do not cry except in "Lassie"-type movies. I have paid dearly for
this. I have dranked alcoholically, I have had heart trouble and all manner
of other problems, all trying to be a "nice guy". Is this a part of my CP?
The answer for me is no! It was part of how I was taught to cope with
society, IMHO. I am emotional, but I try to hide it, except in sad or happy
movies or TV shows. My kids used to make fun of me for crying at movies and
such.
        The only time I experienced out of control emotions was after heart
surgery when I was full of all manner of drugs and the ol' body had
undergone quite a trauma. I remembered  crying a lot and contemplating
death a lot.I have never considered myself "more" emotional than anyone
else. Even though I love to laugh and joke, I still have a lot of anger
inside me and it somes out in wierd ways. IMHO, we use anger often to gain
some kind of control over a situation. At this late stage in life, I have
found anger to be very destructive and unproductive. I am attempting to be
less hostile and angry.
        I don't know if I have made a bit of sense with my ramblings, but I
feel
better!! And, thanks Steve for provoking this musing.

Bobby


>hi all.
>
>it seems like I have temper tantrums because the description has turned on
>a light in my head. Sometimes I hurt myself and others around me, why is it?
>Asdis.
>
>Asdis Jenna Astradsdottir
>[log in to unmask] at my home and [log in to unmask] at school.
>Tjarnarmyri 15
>170 Seltjarnarnes
>Iceland.
>phone/fax 354-5611659.
>cellphone 354-6981659.
>* NEVER GIVE UP! * :-)
>THE WORLD IS WONDERFUL!
>GOD IS WITH YOU EVERYWHERE!