There's a newspaper in the small California town of Aracta, called The
Arcata Eye, and they publish a police log. Now, normally one would expect
such things to be dry reading, but the editor apparently decided to spice
things up, and here is a sample log.
For more logs, go to: http://www.arcataeye.com/police/
Waved stick curtails curiosity
by Kevin L. Hoover
· Thursday, April 18 11:41 p.m. Walking behind a Valley West
supermarket, a man reported three kids hitting him up for money, then
following him. He survived; they weren’t found.
· Saturday, April 20 1:10 a.m. Two parties kludged together near
Alliance Road and Spear Avenue. Tons of cars, noise, the whole bit.
1:26 a.m. Sophisticates on upper H Street gathered for highbrow hijinks
distinguished by blasting music, yelling, banging things and even jumping
up and down. The hostess agreed to quell the genteel social pursuits.
1:57 a.m. In the 2900 block of Mack Road, party-time jollity included loud
people and music, plus “strange flashes.”
2:12 a.m. An allegedly drunken traveler staggered into a perpetual donut
mecca, where he was arrested on multiple warrants and a public drunkenness
charge, then Pink Housed.
4:57 a.m. Every morning, neighbors say, the dog in Tina Court wakes up
about this time, and so must they.
9:23 a.m. Pallets and milk crates again magically disappeared from behind a
Westwood center store.
9:35 a.m. Loose dogs owned Cedar Drive for a time. The owner was warned.
10:55 a.m. A small brown and white dog ran in and out of traffic in the
1900 block of Old Arcata Road. An officer went to check on the little
pooch, which couldn’t be found.
11:28 a.m. Fun Bunchers celebrated the Holiest of Holy holidays, attracting
police to what must be the most well-furnished train tracks in the universe.
2:17 p.m. Two jackets left unattended in a Plaza bar were of course
immediately stolen.
3:22 p.m. A female suspect was implicated in the theft of some 120-130
magazines from a Fourth Street market.
3:32 p.m. An aggressive dog left in the back of a pickup truck on Ninth
Street had driven off when police arrived.
4:34 p.m. All kinds of cars were parked in the area of Park Avenue and
Fickle Hill Road as their drivers went to smoke dope in Redwood Park. This
year, APD’s presence at 420 was minimal and limited to calls for service,
but none were received.
· Sunday, April 21 1:59 a.m. Bar closing time, and fists bloomed like
five-fingered flowers just south of an historic Plaza storehouse.
2:24 a.m. An alleged drunk was arrested near an historic Plaza hotel, then
Pinked.
2:25 a.m. An alleged drunk was arrested in the not particularly historic
600 block of Tenth Street, then Pinked.
8:50 a.m. His ex had related to him with well-aimed kicks and the business
end of a bottle, he said. That was seven weeks ago, and he was just
reporting the alleged assault.
11:13 a.m.
’Twixt train track and overgrown bramble
Fun Bunchers cavort and like, gambol
Some jesting, some joking
Perhaps sometimes toking
Till p’licemen swing through on a ramble.
1:11 p.m. The question is, who hangs on to his all-weather guitar when the
Fun Bunch’s premier bluesman spends a stint in the Pink House on a public
drunkenness charge?
1:51 p.m. With guitarless bluesman in custody, an officer backed his
cruiser into the fence by the mammoth compost heap, causing minor damage.
· Monday, April 22
1:13 a.m. What the – ?
3:36 a.m. Not again!
6:14 a.m. Too much.
6:28 a.m. Why?
10:29 a.m. Lights on a business sign were vandalized in the 1100 block of
11th Street.
11:30 a.m. A residence in the 500 block of Fourth Street was reported
burgled and vandalized.
1:48 p.m. A child was reported bitten by a pit bull left tethered to a
vehicle in the hospital parking lot, but when an officer arrived the dog
was inside the car and the child hadn’t been chomped. The dog’s owner was
to be contacted later.
3:11 p.m. A cocktail-enraptured man settled down for a siesta on the
sidewalk in the 1500 block of G Street.
3:31 p.m. A Trinidad man came to the station asking to be cited for an
outstanding arrest warrant. He was cited to appear in court May 22.
7:21 p.m. Someone stole CDs and stuff from a car parked in a Wisteria Way
driveway.
8:35 p.m. A drunk was trying to drive away from the ER, where it seemed as
though he’d be returning in pieces before too long if he were allowed to
get behind the wheel. He and a similarly spirited female companion promised
they wouldn’t be driving that night.
10:49 p.m. A woman left the hospital before she could be detained by staff,
who said she had taken some 20 to 25 15 milligram Welbutrin tablets, had
been drinking and who had methamphetamine “on board.” She was located and
returned to the hospital.
11:13 p.m. More loud drumming at a partially completed West End Road
subdivision.
· Tuesday, April 23 12:15 a.m. A person passing through the 1100
block of K Street came upon a shopping cart in the roadway. When he went to
move the obstruction, a bearded figure approached in a state of defensive
aggression, as though the citizen were a competing Neanderthal attempting
to steal a fresh heap of carrion. Grasped in the bearded one’s hand was
that timeless symbol of humanity – a fist-clenched stick, with which the
passerby was warded away from the marooned cart. Police were called,
arrived and were “out with cart,” but the bearded one, his stick, pea coat
and baseball cap were nowhere to be found.
1:33 a.m. They told her she was in no condition to leave the ER. “You’re in
no condition to leave the ER,” they said. So what did she do? Leave the ER.
Police found her at a strip mall across the freeway. She struggled a bit
until they strapped her into the bed, then wisely surrendered to the
inevitable.
6:20 a.m. A Samoa Boulevard resident awoke to find a dog, a large gold pit
bull, stationed at her front door. Though it appeared docile, she was
afraid to go outside and instead called police. Officers found the pooch,
cited the owner and relocated the dog to the Corp Yard.
11:25 a.m. Someone left a voice mail saying they were going to burn the
place down.
11:36 a.m. A sexually offensive person registered as required.
12:02 p.m. Graffiti was etched into the front door of a business.
1:16 p.m. An Arcata institution as cherished as that I Street cooperative
supermarket should never be shoplifted. One in custody.
2:44 p.m. A redwood forest as cherished as the one off 14th Street should
never have drug-addled bozos wandering its trails.
2:58 p.m. An F Street handicapped parking spot reserved for those who need
as much close access as possible should never be occupied by a lazy
non-disabled person.
3:13 p.m. A kid was warned about being too young to kill himself with
cigarettes at the Intermodal Transient facility.
4:38 p.m. Three travelers near the ITF were cited for marijuana possession.
5 p.m. Same handicapped parking spot as before; same $330 fine for a
different lazy-abled person.
5:24 p.m. Alleged shoplifter in custody at the F Street supermarket.
11:35 p.m. A person was walking along Tavern Row when two figures came
hurtling out of a bar, wrestling and fighting with each other. One manly
man actually picked the other up and heaved him into a car, breaking the
windshield. Police soon located the suspect, described as “resistive and
highly uncooperative,” and arrested him on charges of public intoxication
and probation violation.
· Wednesday, April 24 5:21 a.m. Her version: He tried to assault her
and busted up her stuff, then took off. His version: He accidentally broke
a lamp and cut himself before departure.
8:46 a.m. The wheels, tires and a stereo were stripped from a vehicle
parked in the 1400 block of Buttermilk Lane.
12:59 p.m. Alleged shoplifter in custody at an I Street cooperative
supermarket.
1:01 p.m. In the greenest part of the lower forest, just up the trail from
the 14th Street gate, a he and she allegedly broke out their own green –
nugs. Things got greener still, when a uniformed park ranger appeared
unexpectedly. His ticket book was soon two lighter.
1:49 p.m. Alleged shoplifter in custody at an I Street cooperative
supermarket.
1:59 p.m. A woman said she was being stalked by someone who came to her
work two days in a row.
2:21 p.m. A high school student said he was bitten by a “pocket gopher” at
school.
2:50 p.m. A bike was stolen from L.K. Wood Boulevard at Granite Avenue.
3:04 p.m. A youth was cited for impeding use of a police radio at the high
school.
3:37 p.m. A former employee keeps coming back to harass and annoy people, a
complainant said. His behavior is becoming very strange, and he’s no longer
welcome there.
4:55 p.m. A person reported threats by a housemate. The accused said the
accuser was harassing him. As you can see, the rough parity of their
competing claims created something of a moral stalemate.
9:11 p.m. A car crashed into a building in the 400 block of G Street, then
did something the building couldn’t do – drove off northbound on G Street.
11:35 p.m. A big whoop-te-do wingding in a budget motel room in Valley West
didn’t shut down without some hard feelings.
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