Wow.  Well, now I'm stuck in a catch-22.  If I deny this, then all the
conspiracy theorists will assume it's true.  If I admit it, then everyone
else will think it's true.

Say, wait a minute... I'm the worst consipracy theorist here.  Ok, then, I
deny it!

JCP

PS - Gerard, how in the world did you come up with this?!?
----------
 Hi. All!
 Greetings from Co.Kildare, Ireland.

 I have received a reported sighting of
 John C.Pavao in a McDonalds in Vermont
 a few weeks ago. He was dining with Elvis
 and Lord Lucan. While Elvis and Lucan were
 eating rings round them John opted for the
 new McDonalds meal of the day, an ear shaped
 Tyson macburger without any dressing. Elvis was
 heavily disguised as Howard Hughes reckoning
 that since Howard was a recluse no one would
 know what he looked like. But he didn't fool my
 source who could easily identify Elvis.

 John was concerned at the size of Elvis and decided
 to try and convert him to lowcarb. "Have you ever heard
 of the Neanderthin" John enquired of Elvis. "Sure have"
 answered Elvis. "I played a gig there once; a great audience
 those Dutch", he continued.

 "No", said John. "Neanderthin is all about living close to
 nature. Going around with no clothes on or perhaps just
 a loin cloth. It's about being on the prowl waiting to pounce
 on whatever moves and breathing in clear fresh air", John said.
 "You've got it wrong", replied Elvis. "That was Woodstock in 1968
 but the air was pretty smokey as far as I can recall".

 John, then tried a different approach. "Would you consider trying
 a Paleodiet", he asked Elvis. "I don't think so since I don't have
 Polio", answered Elvis. "It sounds faddy to me. I knew a guy once
 who went on a Tubercullosis diet and ended up in a sanitorium",
 he continued.

 Realising he was getting nowhere with Elvis and reckoning that
 Elvis was going to be a "junkie fooder" forever, John turned and
 said: "How would you like to get your teeth into my two buns,
 Elvis?".

 "We'll have none of that, Pav", Elvis replied deepening his voice
 to the "third ball" level. "I mean my burger buns", replied John.
 "Sure, baby, I knew what you meant", replied a relieved Elvis.

 Lord Lucan never uttered a word throughout all of this. In fact,
 nobody has heard a word from Lucan since he murdered his
 children's nanny in England in 1974, and then went missing.
 Lucan was sitting there reading a book entitled "Murder most
 Foul". It was about the massacre of 10,000 chickens during
 the making of a Hitchcock movie in the fifties. According to
 the book, Edgar Hoover hushed it all up because he was afraid
 he would receive a battery(oops) of complaints from the public.
 Now that I think of it maybe the book was called "Murder most Fowl".

 Lucan closed the book, stood up from the table, nodded at
 John and Elvis and left the restaurant. Outside he mounted
 his horse, Shergar, and rode off into the sunset. Okay it was
 11.45 pm but you have to put these things in for dramatic
 effect.

 Such is the size of the Kings midrif John decided to call him
 Pelvis. Anyway Pav and Pelvis left McDonalds and headed
 back to John's cave where John introduced Pelvis to his wife.
 (John's wife, that is) The three of them got on great and sat
 watching the new episodes of the Flintstones, starring Jimmy
 Stewart as Fred and Grace Kelly as Wiiiiiiilma. This is the first
 time the two have starred opposite each other since "Rear Window"
 in 1954.

 All the above information comes from a reliable source. It's from a
 66 year old man called Mike. He was only 16 when he witnessed
 the Roswell alien crash. So now you can really believe everything
 in this post.

 Kind regards,

 Gatsby.

 [log in to unmask]