Proud to be British because...

Only in Britain... can a pizza get to your house faster than an
 ambulance.

Only in Britain... do supermarkets make sick people walk all the way
 to the back of the shop to get their prescriptions while healthy
 people can buy cigarettes at the front.

Only in Britain... do people order double cheeseburgers, large fries,
 and a diet coke.

Only in Britain... do banks leave both doors open and chain the pens
 to the counters.

Only in Britain... do we leave cars worth thousands of pounds on the
 drive and put our junk and cheap lawn mower in the garage.

Only in Britain... do we buy hot dogs in packs of ten and buns in
 packs of eight.

3 Brits die each year testing if a 9v battery works on their tongue.

142 Brits were injured in 1999 by not removing all pins from new
 shirts.

58 Brits are injured each year by using sharp knives instead of
screwdrivers.

31 Brits have died since 1996 by watering their Christmas tree while
 the fairy lights were plugged in.

19 Brits have died in the last 3 years believing that Christmas
decorations were chocolate.

British Hospitals reported 4 broken arms last year after cracker
 pulling accidents.

101 people since 1999 have had to have broken parts of plastic toys
 pulled out of the soles of their feet.

18 Brits had serious burns in 2000 trying on a new jumper with a lit
cigarette in their mouth.

A massive 543 Brits were admitted to A&E in the last two years after
opening bottles of beer with their teeth.

5 Brits were injured last year in accidents involving out of control
Scalextric cars.

and finally.........

In 2000 eight Brits cracked their skull whilst throwing up into the
toilet.


Cheers

Deri