On Tuesday 25 Dec 2001 5:23 am, Magenta Raine wrote:
> Deri, I didn't get it... U must explain it!
>
> mag

Sorry Mag, I did think it a bit "regional" (and only rated a mild
chuckle anyway).



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Riding the favourite at Cheltenham, a jockey was well ahead of the
field.

Suddenly he was hit on the head by a turkey and a string of sausages.

He managed to keep control of his mount and pulled back into the lead,
only to be struck by a box of Christmas crackers, a can of spam and a
dozen mince pies as he went over the last fence.

With great skill he managed to steer the horse to the front of the
field once more when, on the run in, he was struck on the head by a
bottle of sherry and a Christmas pudding. Thus distracted, he managed
only a second placing.

He immediately went to the stewards to complain that he had been
seriously hampered.

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Glossary:

CHELTENHM. A race track where a JOCKEY rides a horse around fences.
JOCKEY. Little short guy - rides the mount.
MOUNT. A raceing horse.
STEWARDS. The judges who make sure that noone is cheating, tampering,
or otherways hampering the running of the race.

And I hope you have "Hampers" in the US - big whicker baskets chock
full of Xmas goodies.

Have a happy Xmas Mags.

Cheers

Deri