Hey Murph,

  Okay, here's what you do. You look for the longest sock you can find.
Then you stuff all those other wonderful socks you've stashed God knows
where into it. A huge knot at the end makes a great hanger-on place to
pull it.  Don't let Mommy wash it too much though cause it won't be the
same. It's only really, really good when it smells just right, ya know!
Oh, and if she does take all the socks out and wash it, wait by the
machines til the sockies are all washed and dried to make sure that what
went into the wash is what comes out of the wash! Those machines eat
stuff!

  The bestest time to have a bath is when Mommy or Daddy's in the tub.
What you do is wait til they're in the tub, and if they don't keep the
door open, bark really loud til they come out. Then you make a mad dash
and leap in the tub and look really angelic.

  I get peanut butter for my eye pillies, and sometimes peanut butter in
my empty marrow bones, when the marrow's all gone. Mommy said I hafta go
on a diet cause she found a little rolly polly on my tummy. That's
Daddy's fault cause he feeds me too many bites of stuff even after Mommy
tells him not to. Folks are gonna start calling me bagel boy if I don't
lose this little love handle I've got going.

  My cat brothers shred newspapers and boxes and they drive me insane
with the racket. One of them is a bit of a nut case cause he thinks he
can get outside through the electrical recepticles. Duh! And his littler
brother sleeps in my basket. Last night, I snarled at him and turned up
my lippy; Daddy got really mad at me. It's a good thing Mommy wasn't in
the room cause she woulda put me in my place for sure!

  Since I'm a senior citizendog, I don't hafta worry about paper
training, although who knows what will happen when I hit the double
digits. Hey, I'll be 10 years old in November! Yee-haw!! I have a feeling
Mommy's gonna try to sneak a Westie lass in here when I hit 11 or 12. She
told Daddy she'd just step up my herbal tranqs for a few months, if she
gets me a sister.That pic on my web page is a Westie - with the tartan
kerchief. According to her Daddy, she the boss of the company that makes
collars and stuff. My collar hasn't arrived yet so I think I should get
after them. It's being custom made just for me! :) Hey, did you see the
pics of Mommy's Westie, Miss Lady? She was a cutie. Her pics are at
Tribute to a Terrier.

  Hey, here's an idea. Once you've got the folks trained the way you
want, ask them to get you a sister. Two brothers don't get along as well.
Most terrier people have two anyway. Never 3 cause one always gets left
out.

  Well, I gotta go. Time for my eye pill and my Vitamin.

  Hope you have fun at Puppy Club. And don't let those bigger dogs push
you around, k?

  Bye for now.

Your friend,

Mr. Jake
http://www.brunnet.net/terrier/jake.html

Deri James wrote:

> Hi Jakey
>
> On Tuesday 22 May 2001 12:21 pm, Carla MacInnis wrote:
> > Dear Murphy,
> >
> >   A really greeaaaaaaaaaatttttt toy for puppies is an old sock
> > stuffed with other old socks.
>
> Rightio, I've now collected 5 of Dad's socks, got 'em hidden under
> the wardrobe. How do you stuff'em inside each other?
>
> >   I don't like the bacon chewy toy as well as my Wigglye Giggly
> > ball but I play with it a little bit.
>
> Whoah up a bit - a Wigglye Giggly Ball - a young pup's got to have a
> bit of street cred.
>
> >
> >   Tell your Mommy not to bathe you too much.
>
> I have, I have!! I rolled in some really steamy horse pooh at the
> weekend, and I begged mummy not to give me a bath.
>
> >   If there are lots of carpets in your house, and you're peeing on
> > those, Mommy and Daddy can get rid of smells by spraying vinegar
> > after sopping up the piddles with soapy water. The vinegar will
> > neutralize the bad smellies.
>
> Vinegar!!! I've got a better idea, I'll tell Mum you said to smear
> peasnut butter all over, that should get rid of the smell alright.
>
> >   When Mommy trained Mr. Clancy, she put a pee paper on some clean
> > newspaper
>
> Now this is the real dope. I'd wondered what the old newspapers were
> for on the floor. So, I'm meant to move them around (nearer the back
> door I think you said). There's not enough paper to cover the whole
> kitchen so I help by ripping it up into little pieces and making it
> "snow". Also - top tip for you here - whatever you do don't make the
> paper wet, it stops it making that great ripping noise.
>
> > We're major little escape artists and
> > an open door is an invitation to run off hunting. Are JR's like
> > that?
>
> What!! I'm the bird pup of alcatraz!!!
>
> >   Your Daddy needs to get you to puppy obedience classes ASAP. It's
> > fun meeting other dogs and you learn manners, which are very
> > important. I didn't go to puppy classes cause my other people just
> > kept me and Mr. Alex (RIP) shut up in the house all day. When Mommy
> > adopted us, we were nervous little wrecks, so Mommy spent months
> > teaching us how to be proper little gentlemen.
> >
>
> Mummy's taking me to my first Puppy Club tonight, I'll show those
> stuck up brats a thing or two - woo hoo. I've heard Mummy call my big
> Aunty Sandy a "rescue dog" but quite frankly I don't think she could
> rescue a fly out of a bowl of custard - I could - in my tummy. Mum
> says she's a Colly Cross (but I can easily change her into a cross
> Colly!!!).
>
> >   Also, a neat trick for Daddy's computer cords and television
> > cords and stuff is to put a nail high up on the wall and hang the
> > cord up so you can't chew and get `lectrocuted. That would be very
> > bad. Mommy heard of a dog getting a nasty mouth burn from chewing a
> > cord. Even putting cords in paper towel cardboards helps a bit, but
> > high up is way safer :)
>
> Like the sound of those cardboard tubes, I know where Mummy keeps a
> whole stack of them in the cupboard under the stairs. It could be a
> big job though, you've got to do a lot of rolling till you get to the
> good cardboard thingy in the middle, talk about well wrapped up!! I
> think I'll wait till everyone's gone out and give 'em a big surprise
> when they get back.
>
> >
> > Your friend,
> >
> > Mr. Jake
> > http://www.brunnet.net/terrier/jake.html for pics of me if you
> > didn't see the most recent ones
>
> Wowza Mr Jake, who's the cuty blond scots lassie at the bottom of
> your page - you lucky dog!!!
>
> Fun, fun, fun, fun, fun, fun, fun, fun,
>
> Murphy