At 02:37 AM 2/20/00 -0500, you wrote:
>Letter from White Girl and Response below
>Dear Jamie,
>
>I'm sorry but I would like to challenge some of your Black male readers. I
>am a White female who is engaged to a Black male-good-looking, educated
>and loving.

>I just don't understand a lot of Black females' attitudes about our
>relationship.  My man decided he wanted me because the pickings amongst
>Black women were slim to none.  As he said they were either too fat, too
>loud, too mean, too argumentative, too needy, too materialistic and
>carrying too much excess baggage.
>
>Before I became engaged, whenever I went out I was constantly approached
>by Black men, willing to wine and dine me and give me the world.  If Black
>women are so up in arms about us being with their men, why don't they look
>at themselves and make some changes.  I am tired of the dirty looks I get
>and snide remarks when we're out in public.
>
>I would like to hear from some Black men about why we are so appealing and
>coveted by them.  Bryant Gumble just left his wife of 26 years for one of
>us.  Charles Barkley, Scottie Pippen, the model Tyson Beckford, Montell
>Williams, Quincy Jones, James Earl Jones, Harry Belafonte, Sydney Poitier,
>Kofi Anan, Cuba Gooding Jr., Don Cornelius, Berry Gordy, Billy Blanks,
>Larry Fishburne, Wesley Snipes...I could go on and on.
>
>But right now I'm a little angry and that is why I wrote this so hurriedly.
>Don't be mad with us White women because so many of your men want us.  Get
>your acts together and learn from us and we may lead you to treat your men
>better.  If I'm wrong, Black men, let me know.

>Disgusted White Girl,
>Somewhere in VA.
>
>To respond to "Disgusted White Girl", remit to S2S Letters, PO Box 41148,
>Washington, DC  20018.
>
>Ladies,
>
>After I spent a couple of seconds being angry, I read this letter again and I
>began to feel pity for this poor white sister.  So many of our white sisters
>are just this ignorant; and we black sistahs are not even trying to educate
>them.  We really need to do a better job.  There are going to be a
>percentage of our black men who will become involved with white
>women.  The least we can do if we really love our brothers is to make sure
>they get a white woman with a little common sense.
>
>Read on...
>
>My poor misguided "white" sister, Your concern should be your man, your
>relationship with him, and what you have to do to keep this man happy for
>the rest of your lives.  Anything else is irrelevant.  Obviously, you are
>in love with the "idea" of being with a black man.  Your own insecurities
>prompted you to write this letter.  You are looking for opinions of other
>black men to validate your relationship instead of being secure that
>regardless of the color of your skin, he loves you for you. If you are
>  insecure now, I can assure you it won't get any better once you become
>this man's wife.
>
>You did a good job on your homework though.  You dug up as many black men
>with white women as you could.  However, you didn't bother to check out
>how many black men have black wives, or how long those marriages
>last.  You know there are some out there... like Ozzie Davis and Ruby Dee,
>Bill Cosby and wife, Camille, Denzel Washington and Paulette, BillyDavis
>and Marilyn MCCoo, Michael Jordan, Samuel L.  Jackson, Blair Underwood,
>Rodney Pete, and Kenny "Babyface" Edmonds.  Oh, I too could go on.
>
>Don't think you are "special" because a black man promises you the world
>on a string either.  A man (regardless of his skin color) will promise the
>sun,
>moon and all the stars to any woman he thinks he has a chance of being with.
>
>I am so sorry that the only reason your man chose to be with you is that
>"the pickings were slim to none amongst black women". It must feel awful
>to know that you were not what your man wanted, but what he settled
>for.  I have been married for 20 years to a man I dated for 5 years prior
>to our marriage.  He did not promise me the world, he is my world.  He
>wines me and dines me on occasion; but he loves me, cherishes me, honors
>me, and respects me on a continuous basis.  When I fell in love with him,
>I didn't have to write a letter seeking other opinions to validate what I
>was feeling or what I was responsible for him feeling.  Our love validated
>itself by simply being.
>
>Yes, your man chose to be with you, a white woman; but didn't you, a white
>woman, choose to be with a black man? Does that then indicate that white
>men are not attracted to white women?  I could take this further, but
>what's the point?  A word from the wise, my sister, you don't make
>yourself look any more attractive by trying to make someone else look less
>attractive.  And if you think your man chose to be with you just because
>you are white, then my dear, you have my prayers.

>Happy Black Woman,
>Atlanta, GA


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