By Magenta Raine.................
Angella is my chocolate caramel angel. She is as wacky, fun, and smart as I
am. When we are out in public together people ask if we are mother and
daughter, Angella was happy when I finally colored my hair, as it made me not
look like her mother, (her sister is light skinned -- about the same as my
skin color).
Sometimes when dressing me we get into funny positions, and if I were a man,
I'd probably try to make something of them. Instead, I just say, "Boy, look
at us…now if I were a guy…" and she responds, "Yes, but you're not and I'm
not interested in women." We laugh.
Sometimes when putting on a skirt or pants, Angella will tell me, "assume the
position." I lay on my back and lift my legs up. It's not the most dignified
position, but it gets the job done. Sometimes Angella will tease me about
this as being my favorite position, and I just smile demurely.
Angella is probably the most man-crazy assistant I've ever had. Sometimes,
she walks into my room, and some days I can just sense what she feels before
she says, "Hmm I feel so sexy today." We laugh a lot.
She is in graduate school now, and because she hasn't a computer yet, I'm
typing her papers for her. Her readability score is just the opposite of
mine. She has a 12th grade writing level and the program says her papers are
going to be understood by only 35 percent of the American population. My
writing tends to be at a ninth grade level, but understandable to about 75
percent if the population. If this is accurate, our education system is sadly
lacking.
I have a thing about zippers, I don't understand it. But every time Angella
wears a new jogging outfit, (and lord knows she must have 35 of them by now),
I am tempted to tease her by adjusting the zipper on her jacket, or the
zipper on her pants leg. I guess this is just my way of saying, "Ooohhh,
another zipper!" and remaining youthful in spirit.
When it rained the other day, she wanted to play scrabble, but didn't feel
like keeping score and bratted out on me by saying, "Can we play another
game?" when I kept putting nice words down. So, we played Tell a Fortune, and
we "read" each others fortunes. And then we played charades. This may not
seem like part of her job, but life is more than just cleaning, making food,
and going to the doctor.
All of Angella's past boyfriends have commented that she has "too much fun on
the job." But we just feed on each other's consumerism, and she adapted my
love of catalogs and on-line buying. And I had to quit using my credit card,
so now we're both on a credit card diet. I have instead, purchased from
places that let you make monthly installments, and a couple of stores have
delayed billing, but I've figured out what I can afford, so I just finished
getting my new wardrobe. Which I needed since I've dropped six dress sizes in
the past year, and had to give away many of my clothes, particularly skirts
and pants because they're falling off me. I've dropped 27 pounds, most on
purpose, and a few because of a bad reaction to medication. I'm proud that
today I am within the weight I was in high school. Anyway, since I worked
hard for the money, I can spend it the way I want to. So, I really love
working, as it makes me not only feel productive and useful, but it enables
me to not look like a slob.
Today, Angella caught me unaware, while ordering a refill of my medication,
she suddenly asked, "Do you want this filled by a male or female?" I looked
at her, like "What?!" I shrugged my shoulders and raised my hands in a
who-cares gesture. Three minutes later she asked "tall or short?" I grinned
and snorted like a horse. Later, after going over the address with a live
person, she asked me another question, "Brown eyes or blue?" but pretended to
still be on line. I laughed and said, "Ohhh Girl, you are so bad today!"
Sometimes I wear tight fitting socks, and when I want to take a bath, I need
help taking them off. I will stick my legs out toward Angella and she will
grab hold of my socks, then tell me to reverse my chair. I do, and slowly the
socks stretch and pull off.
The other day Claire was substituting for Angella, and I nearly pulled her
onto the bed with me as we tried to get a shirt over my head and arms. We
laughed.
Today we ran into the old cream cheese problem. I said I wanted "Cream
cheese," and she kept saying "You want green cheese?" Got a good giggle out
of that.
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