Bobby,
Do you have the title and author of the book?  Would like to get hold
of it.
Rayna

On Sat, Mar 03, 2001 at 03:29:12PM -0500, Bobby Greer wrote:
    Rayna,

        I once read a book obout body language and feminism. The author made one
    point in her book which has stuck with me for many years. She was discussing
    how in many rape trials, the victim is put on trial by the way she dressed,
    talked, etc. The author compared this to a murder trial where the defense
    attorney would say something like,
    "Well, ladies and gentlemen of th jury, the victim looked like he wanted to
    die so my client merely accomodated him!"

    Bobby
    In a message dated 3/3/01 4:40:10 PM, [log in to unmask] writes:

    << Bobby,

    I'm glad you wrote what you did, and I don't really blame myself.
    It's just that I wasn't brought up to defend myself or identify
    potential sources of danger, I was always taught that it was my
    fault.  I grew up around people whose concept of reality was seriously
    skewed, and who, to this day have NO regard for my personal safety.
    I know that nothing of what the world does to me is my fault, and that
    I have the right to get angry and defend myself, but these are things
    I have had to learn for myself at a later age than most, and I get
    frustrated that it is something I have to work so hard and
    continuously at.  But it is an immense relief to me that there are
    others out there that can point these things out to me.  It gets
    exhausting having figure out everything for myself.  You did the right
    thing in writing what you did, and it DID NOT hurt me.  What hurts is
    that I was never taught these things when I should have been.

    Rayna

    (I couldn't have elbowed him in the balls, clearly he didn't have
    any!!)

    On Sat, Mar 03, 2001 at 10:32:17AM -0500, Bobby Greer wrote:
        Rayna,

            You sound like you are blaming yourself for what this sick pervert
    did. I
        wouldn't have written what I did if I thought it would hurt you in anyway.
        YOU ARE NOT TO BLAME FOR THIS. Blaming yourself is victim's mentality. Do
    not
        be ashamed, I beg you.
        Next time, elbow him in the balls. Get mad, don't feel guilty.

        Bobby
        In a message dated 3/3/01 7:34:10 AM, [log in to unmask]
    writes:

        <<  But I
        was always on the watch for obvious forms of assault, not something as
        seemingly innocuous as what this guy did.  Not joking about it now. )-:

        Rayna >>
     >>