<<<One reason to smile is that every seven minutes of every
day, someone
in an aerobics class pulls a hamstring.>>>
This is sooooooo true!!! LOLOL
On Sun, 25 February 2001, Jan Nottmeier wrote:
>
> GREAT TRUTHS ABOUT LIFE THAT LITTLE CHILDREN HAVE LEARNED:
> 1) No matter how hard you try, you can't baptize cats.
> 2) When your Mom is mad at your Dad, don't let her brush your hair.
> 3) If your sister hits you, don't hit her back. They always catch the
> second person.
> 4) Never ask your 3-year old brother to hold a tomato.
> 5) You can't trust dogs to watch your food.
> 6) Reading what people write on desks can teach you a lot.
> 7) Don't sneeze when someone is cutting your hair.
> 8) Puppies still have bad breath, even after eating a tic-tac.
> 9) Never hold a Dust-Buster and a cat at the same time.
> 10) School lunches stick to the wall.
> 11) You can't hide a piece of broccoli in a glass of milk.
> 12) Don't wear polka-dot underwear under white shorts.
> 13) The best place to be when you're sad is Grandma's lap.
> GREAT TRUTHS ABOUT LIFE THAT ADULTS HAVE LEARNED: 1)=A0 Raising
> teenagers is like nailing Jell-O to a tree.
> 2) There is always a lot to be thankful for, if you take the time to
> look. For example, I'm sitting here thinking how nice it is that
> wrinkles..... don't hurt.
> 3) One reason to smile is that every seven minutes of every day, someone
> in an aerobics class pulls a hamstring.
> 4) Car sickness is the feeling you get when the monthly payment is due.
> 5) The best way to keep kids at home is to make a pleasant atmosphere
> and let the air out of their tires.
> 6) Families are like fudge ... mostly sweet, with a few nuts.
> 7) Remember the strong oak tree in your backyard is just a nut that held
> its ground.
> 8) Laughing helps. It's like jogging on the inside.
> 9) Middle age is when you choose your cereal for the fiber, not the toy.
>
> 10) My mind not only wanders; sometimes it leaves completely.
> 11) If you can remain calm, you just don't have all the facts.
> GREAT TRUTHS ABOUT GROWING OLD:
> 1) Growing old is mandatory; growing up is optional. 2)=A0 Insanity is
> my only means of relaxation.
> 3) You know you're getting old when you stoop to tie your shoes and
> wonder what else you can do while you're down there.
> 4) You're getting old when you get the same sensation from a rocking
> chair that you once got from a roller coaster.
> 5) Perhaps you know why women over fifty don't have babies: Theywould
> put them down somewhere and forget where they left them.
> 6) One of life's mysteries is how a two ounce bag of candy can make
> person gain five pounds.
> 7) I finally got my head together, and my body fell apart.
> 8) There cannot be a crisis this week; my schedule is already full.
> 9) Time may be a great healer, but it's also a lousy beautician.
> 10) The older you get, the tougher it is to lose weight, because by then
> your body and your fat are really good friends.
> 11) Age doesn't always bring wisdom. Sometimes age comes alone.
> 12) Just when I was getting used to yesterday, along came today.
> 13) Freedom of the press means no-iron clothes.
> 14) Inside some of us is a thin person struggling to get out, but they
> can usually be sedated with a few pieces of chocolate cake.
> =A0 =A0 =A0 THE FOUR STAGES OF LIFE:
> =A0 =A0 =A0 =A0 =A01) You believe in Santa Claus.
> =A0 =A0 =A0 =A0 =A02) You don't believe in Santa Claus. =A0=A0 =A0 =A0
> =A0=A03) You are Santa Claus.
> =A0 =A0 =A0 =A0=A0 4) You look like Santa Claus.
>
> "Mental toughness and perseverance is the formula for success"
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