Got sent this today. ROTFLMAO

Rayna

    HOW TO STOP PARENTS AND INLAWS FROM BUGGING YOU ABOUT GETTING MARRIED.

    Old aunts and grandparents used to come up to me at weddings, poking me
    in the ribs and cackling, telling me, "You're next."

    They stopped after I started doing the same thing to them at funerals.
    ****
    On a beautiful deserted island in the middle of nowhere, the following
    people are stranded:

    2 Italian men and 1 Italian woman
    2 French men and 1 French woman
    2 German men and 1 German woman
    2 Greek men and 1 Greek woman
    2 English men and 1 English woman
    2 Polish men and 1 Polish woman
    2 Japanese men and 1 Japanese woman
    2 American men and 1 American woman
    2 Australian men and 1 Australian woman
    2 New Zealand men and 1 New Zealand woman
    2 Irish men and 1 Irish woman

    One month later, the following things have occurred:
    One Italian man killed the other Italian man for the Italian woman.

    The two French men and the French woman are living happily together
    having loads of sex.

    The two German men have a strict weekly schedule of when they alternate
    with the German woman.

    The two Greek men are sleeping with each other and the Greek woman is
    cleaning and cooking for them.

    The two English men are waiting for someone to introduce them to the
    English woman.

    The Polish men took a long look at the endless ocean and one look at the

    Polish woman and they started swimming.

    The two American men are contemplating the virtues of suicide, while the

    American woman keeps on bitching about her body being her own, the true
    nature of feminism, how she can do everything that they can do, about
    the necessity of fulfillment, the equal division of household chores,
    how her last boyfriend respected her opinion and treated her much nicer
    and how her relationship with her mother is improving. But at least the
    taxes here are low and it is not raining.

    The two Japanese men have faxed Tokyo and are waiting for instructions.

    The two Australian men beat each other senseless fighting over the
    Australian woman, who is checking out all the other men, after calling
    them both 'bloody wankers".

    Both New Zealand men are searching the island for sheep.

    The Irish began by dividing the island into North and South and setting
    up a distillery. They do not remember if sex is in the picture because
    it gets sort of foggy after the first few liters of coconut whiskey, but

    they are satisfied in that at least the English are not getting any.
    ***