Dear Rayna,

Learning often results from experience.  You were correct to see the
incident from several viewpoints.  You are also right to feel anger, even
outrage, at a violation of your person--at any level of insult or assault.

Vigilance and self protection when in public is crucial.  Our CP minds often
must accomplish what our arms and legs can't.  You can and must attempt to
prevent self harm.  That's very healthy.

Unfortunately none of us can always predict or prevent someone's stupidity
or sick behavior towards us.  Fortunately that doesn't happen too often.

Steve M.

>From: Rayna Lamb <[log in to unmask]>
>Subject: Re: Weirdness
>Date: Sun, 4 Mar 2001 00:39:15 +0800
>
>Bobby,
>
>I'm glad you wrote what you did, and I don't really blame myself.
>It's just that I wasn't brought up to defend myself or identify
>potential sources of danger, I was always taught that it was my
>fault.  I grew up around people whose concept of reality was seriously
>skewed, and who, to this day have NO regard for my personal safety.
>I know that nothing of what the world does to me is my fault, and that
>I have the right to get angry and defend myself, but these are things
>I have had to learn for myself at a later age than most, and I get
>frustrated that it is something I have to work so hard and
>continuously at.  But it is an immense relief to me that there are
>others out there that can point these things out to me.  It gets
>exhausting having figure out everything for myself.  You did the right
>thing in writing what you did, and it DID NOT hurt me.  What hurts is
>that I was never taught these things when I should have been.
>
>Rayna
>
>(I couldn't have elbowed him in the balls, clearly he didn't have
>any!!)
>
>On Sat, Mar 03, 2001 at 10:32:17AM -0500, Bobby Greer wrote:
>     Rayna,
>
>         You sound like you are blaming yourself for what this sick pervert
>did. I
>     wouldn't have written what I did if I thought it would hurt you in
>anyway.
>     YOU ARE NOT TO BLAME FOR THIS. Blaming yourself is victim's mentality.
>Do not
>     be ashamed, I beg you.
>     Next time, elbow him in the balls. Get mad, don't feel guilty.
>
>     Bobby
>     In a message dated 3/3/01 7:34:10 AM, [log in to unmask]
>writes:
>
>     <<  But I
>     was always on the watch for obvious forms of assault, not something as
>     seemingly innocuous as what this guy did.  Not joking about it now.
>)-:
>
>     Rayna >>

_________________________________________________________________
Get your FREE download of MSN Explorer at http://explorer.msn.com