--- Ralph Walter <[log in to unmask]> wrote:
> Meanwhile, I can't remember the Monty Python line
> that led into "shrubbery."
Ralph
Websites divulge everything:
http://www.oraclehumor.com/Humor/MontyPython.html
from: "Monty Python and the Holy Grail"
Scene 25
HEAD KNIGHT: Nee!
Nee!
Nee!
Nee!
ARTHUR: Who are you?
HEAD KNIGHT: We are the Knights Who Say... Nee!
ARTHUR: No! Not the Knights Who Say Nee!
HEAD KNIGHT: The same!
BEDEMIR: Who are they?
HEAD KNIGHT: We are the keepers of the sacred
words: Nee, Pen, and
Nee-wom!
RANDOM: Nee-wom!
ARTHUR: Those who hear them seldom live to tell the
tale!
HEAD KNIGHT: The Knights Who Say Nee demand a
sacrifice!
ARTHUR: Knights of Nee, we are but simple
travellers who seek the
enchanter who lives beyond these woods.
HEAD KNIGHT: Nee! Nee! Nee! Nee!
ARTHUR and PARTY: Oh, ow!
HEAD KNIGHT: We shall say 'nee' again to you if you
do not appease us.
ARTHUR: Well, what is it you want?
HEAD KNIGHT: We want... a shrubbery!
[dramatic chord]
ARTHUR: A what?
HEAD KNIGHT: Nee! Nee!
ARTHUR and PARTY: Oh, ow!
ARTHUR: Please, please! No more! We shall find a
shrubbery.
HEAD KNIGHT: You must return here with a shrubbery
or else you will
never pass through this wood alive!
ARTHUR: O Knights of Nee, you are just and fair,
and we will return
with a shrubbery.
HEAD KNIGHT: One that looks nice.
ARTHUR: Of course.
HEAD KNIGHT: And not too expensive.
ARTHUR: Yes.
HEAD KNIGHTS: Now... go!
Scene 30
[clop clop]
ARTHUR: Old crone! Is there anywhere in this town
where we could buy
a shrubbery!
[dramatic chord]
CRONE: Who sent you?
ARTHUR: The Knights Who Say Nee.
CRONE: Agh! No! Never! We have no shrubberies
here.
ARTHUR: If you do not tell us where we can buy a
shrubbery, my friend
and I will say... we will say... `nee'.
CRONE: Agh! Do your worst!
ARTHUR: Very well! If you will not assist us
voluntarily,... nee!
CRONE: No! Never! No shrubberies!
ARTHUR: Nee!
BEDEMIR: Noo! Noo!
ARTHUR: No, no, no, no -- it's not that, it's
'nee'.
BEDEMIR: Noo!
ARTHUR: No, no -- 'nee'. You're not doing it
properly.
BEDEMIR: Noo! Nee!
ARTHUR: That's it, that's it, you've got it.
ARTHUR and BEDEMIR: Nee! Nee!
ROGER: Are you saying 'nee' to that old woman?
ARTHUR: Um, yes.
ROGER: Oh, what sad times are these when passing
ruffians can say `nee'
at will to old ladies. There is a pestilence
upon this land, nothing
is sacred. Even those who arrange and design
shrubberies are under
considerable economic stress at this period in
history.
ARTHUR: Did you say `shrubberies'?
ROGER: Yes, shrubberies are my trade -- I am a
shrubber. My name
is Roger the Shrubber. I arrange, design, and
sell shrubberies.
BEDEMIR: Nee!
ARTHUR: No! No, no, no! No!
Scene 31
ARTHUR: O, Knights of Nee, we have brought you your
shrubbery. May we
go now?
HEAD KNIGHT: It is a good shrubbery. I like the
laurels particularly.
But there is one small problem.
ARTHUR: What is that?
HEAD KNIGHT: We are now... no longer the Knights
Who Say Nee.
RANDOM: Nee!
HEAD KNIGHT: Shh shh. We are now the Knights Who
Say Ecky-ecky-ecky-
ecky-pikang-zoom-boing-mumble-mumble.
RANDOM: Nee!
HEAD KNIGHT: Therefore, we must give you a test.
ARTHUR: What is this test, O Knights of-- Knights
Who 'Til Recently
Said Nee?
HEAD KNIGHT: Firstly, you must find... another
shrubbery!
[dramatic chord]
ARTHUR: Not another shrubbery!
HEAD KNIGHT: Then, when you have found the
shrubbery, you must place
it here beside this shrubbery, only slightly
higher so you get a
two-level effect with a little path running down
the middle.
RANDOM: A path! A path! Nee!
HEAD KNIGHT: Then, when you have found the
shrubbery, you must cut
down the mightiest tree in the forest... with...
a herring!
[dramatic chord]
Cheers
david
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