Your Humor Czar owes one and all a BIG APOLOGY.

Having realized as I walked through the New Times Square Ex-Porno District
that public discussion of premarital exploits --real, imagined, reported as
real but unverified by the undersigned, etc., etc.-- of others, particularly
one's in-laws, qualifies one for the Lowest Circles of the Sex Pig Hall of
Infamy, I must, uhhhh, ummm, errr, throw myself on the mercy of the Pinhead
Court  and humbly beg forgiveness for all evils done thereby to female, male,
neuter, transgender, misanthropes,  animal lovers, vegetarians, and persons
of  all other affectional preferences.

Oh, yeah, and I made it all up. Except for the yurts on the nudist farm part.
You could ask Galileo, or Ken Follett, Elmore Leonard, and those other
novelist types we hang around with, whether such absurd horseshit could
possibly be true.  But PLEEEEEEASE don't ask Debbie, or it'll make what the
Bolshies did to Nick & Family look like the gentlest form of euthanasia.

Ralph