I thought everyone would enjoy this..Karen :)

School Answering Service
>Hello! You have reached the automated answering service of your child's
>school. In order to assist you in connecting to the right staff member,
>please listen to all options before making a selection:
>
>  To lie about why your child is absent, Press 1.
>
>To make excuses for why your child did not do his/her work, Press 2.
>
>To complain about what we do, Press 3.
>
>To cuss out staff members, Press 4.
>
>To ask why you did not get needed information that was already enclosed
>in your newsletter and several bulletins mailed to you, Press 5.
>
>If you want us to raise your child, Press 6.
>
>If you want to reach out and touch, slap or hit someone, Press 7.
>
>To request another teacher for the third time this year, Press 8.
>
>To complain about bus transportation, Press 9.
>
>To complain about school lunches, Press 0.
>
>If you realize this is the real world and your child must be
>accountable/responsible for his/her own behavior, classwork, homework,
>and that it is not the teacher's fault for your child's lack of effort,
>please hang up and have a nice day.
>