Thanks Governor Katim:
The 98.85% who have tried to monitor our elections (under false pretences)
will, with immediate effect, consider themselves redundant.
Prince George (W) and Earl Jimmy (C) will be notified accordingly.
God save the Queen.
I remain, Sir,
Your most obedient servant,
Big Ben
District Commissioner.
> -----Original Message-----
> From: Katim S. Touray [SMTP:[log in to unmask]]
> Sent: Thursday, November 23, 2000 11:51 PM
> To: [log in to unmask]
> Subject: Fwd: Notice of Revocation of Independence
>
> Dear all,
>
> I hope this helps your "Thanks Giving" dinners digest well. Enjoy!
>
> Katim
>
> -------------Forwarded Message-----------------
>
> From: "Simon J.Upton", INTERNET:[log in to unmask]
> Date: 16/11/100 04:37 PM
>
> NOTICE OF REVOCATION OF INDEPENDENCE
>
> To the citizens of the United States of America, in the light of your
> failure to
> elect a President of the USA and thus to govern yourselves, we hereby give
> notice of the revocation of your independence, effective today.
>
> Her Sovereign Majesty Queen Elizabeth II will resume monarchial duties
> over all
> states, commonwealths and other territories. Except Utah, which she does
> not
> fancy. Your new prime minister (The rt. hon. Tony Blair, MP for the 97.85%
> of
> you who have until now been unaware that there is a world outside your
> borders)
> will appoint a minister for America without the need for further
> elections.
> Congress and the Senate will be disbanded.
>
> A questionnaire will be circulated next year to determine whether any of
> you
> noticed.
>
> To aid in the transition to a British Crown dependency, the following
> rules are
> introduced with immediate effect:
>
> 1. You should look up "revocation" in the Oxford English Dictionary.
> Then look up "aluminium". Check the pronunciation guide. You will be
> amazed at
> just how wrongly you have been pronouncing it. Generally, you should raise
> your
> vocabulary to acceptable levels. Look up "vocabulary". Using the same
> twenty
> seven words interspersed with filler noises such as "like" and "you know"
> is an
> unacceptable and inefficient form of communication. Look up
> "interspersed".
>
> 2. There is no such thing as "US English". We will let Microsoft know on
> your
> behalf.
>
> 3. You should learn to distinguish the English and Australian accents. It
> really
> isn't that hard.
>
> 4. Hollywood will be required occasionally to cast English actors as the
> good
> guys.
>
> 5. You should relearn your original national anthem, "God Save The Queen",
> but
> only after fully carrying out task 1. We would not want you to get
> confused and
> give up half way through.
>
> 6. You should stop playing American "football". There is only one kind of
> football. What you refer to as American "football" is not a very good
> game. The
> 2.15% of you who are aware that there is a world outside your borders may
> have
> noticed that no one else plays "American" football. You will no longer be
> allowed to play it, and should instead play proper football. Initially, it
> would
> be best if you played with the girls. It is a difficult game. Those of you
> brave
> enough will, in time, be allowed to play rugby which is similar to
> American
> "football", but does not involve stopping for a rest every twenty seconds
> or
> wearing full kevlar body armour like nancies). We are hoping to get
> together at
> least a US rugby sevens side by 2005.
>
> 7. You should declare war on Quebec and France, using nuclear weapons if
> they
> give you any merde. The 98.85% of you who were not aware that there is a
> world
> outside your borders should count yourselves lucky. The Russians have
> never been
> the bad guys. "Merde" is French for "shit".
>
> 8. July 4th is no longer a public holiday. November 8th will be a new
> national
> holiday, but only in England. It will be called "Indecisive Day".
>
> 9. All American cars are hereby banned. They are crap and it is for your
> own
> good. When we show you German cars, you will understand what we mean.
>
> 10. Please tell us who killed JFK. It's been driving [u]s crazy.
>
> Thank you for your cooperation.
>
> Simon J. Upton
> http://www.sjupton.com
>
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------
> --
> To unsubscribe/subscribe or view archives of postings, visit:
>
> http://maelstrom.stjohns.edu/archives/aam.html
>
> AAM Website: http://www.danenet.wicip.org/aam
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------
> --
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
To unsubscribe/subscribe or view archives of postings, visit:
http://maelstrom.stjohns.edu/archives/aam.html
AAM Website: http://www.danenet.wicip.org/aam
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
|
