Rayna,

    I once read a book obout body language and feminism. The author made one
point in her book which has stuck with me for many years. She was discussing
how in many rape trials, the victim is put on trial by the way she dressed,
talked, etc. The author compared this to a murder trial where the defense
attorney would say something like,
"Well, ladies and gentlemen of th jury, the victim looked like he wanted to
die so my client merely accomodated him!"

Bobby
In a message dated 3/3/01 4:40:10 PM, [log in to unmask] writes:

<< Bobby,

I'm glad you wrote what you did, and I don't really blame myself.
It's just that I wasn't brought up to defend myself or identify
potential sources of danger, I was always taught that it was my
fault.  I grew up around people whose concept of reality was seriously
skewed, and who, to this day have NO regard for my personal safety.
I know that nothing of what the world does to me is my fault, and that
I have the right to get angry and defend myself, but these are things
I have had to learn for myself at a later age than most, and I get
frustrated that it is something I have to work so hard and
continuously at.  But it is an immense relief to me that there are
others out there that can point these things out to me.  It gets
exhausting having figure out everything for myself.  You did the right
thing in writing what you did, and it DID NOT hurt me.  What hurts is
that I was never taught these things when I should have been.

Rayna

(I couldn't have elbowed him in the balls, clearly he didn't have
any!!)

On Sat, Mar 03, 2001 at 10:32:17AM -0500, Bobby Greer wrote:
    Rayna,

        You sound like you are blaming yourself for what this sick pervert
did. I
    wouldn't have written what I did if I thought it would hurt you in anyway.
    YOU ARE NOT TO BLAME FOR THIS. Blaming yourself is victim's mentality. Do
not
    be ashamed, I beg you.
    Next time, elbow him in the balls. Get mad, don't feel guilty.

    Bobby
    In a message dated 3/3/01 7:34:10 AM, [log in to unmask]
writes:

    <<  But I
    was always on the watch for obvious forms of assault, not something as
    seemingly innocuous as what this guy did.  Not joking about it now. )-:

    Rayna >>
 >>