Betty--our prayers are with your mom--our hugs are for you!  {{{{{{Betty
Squish}}}}}}}

Love,
Laura and Kyle

----------
> From: Betty Alfred <[log in to unmask]>
> To: [log in to unmask]
> Subject: Off Topic:  Betty's Mom
> Date: Sunday, June 18, 2000 12:32 AM
>
> Hi all,
>
> This is just a little note to share about the current state of my Mom's
> situation.  For those of you who are new to the list, my Mom has
metastatic
> lung cancer.
>
> Mom's physical condition has declined rapidly, and she was admitted into
the
> Hospice Center of Northern Virginia last Sunday.  She is resting as
> comfortably as possible, and doesn't appear to have much pain thanks to
> successful medication combinations.  She is quite weak however, suffers
from
> extreme bouts of nausea, and is sometimes unable to talk simply due to
the
> effect of medication.  The conversations I have had with Hospice staff
lead
> me to believe that they don't think she will live long.  She has told me
> several times that she is ready to die, and asked me to pray for that to
> happen soon.
>
> I am delighted with the level of care and kind attention she is receiving
> from the Hospice staff.  Prior to her admittance into Hospice -- to be
honest
> -- I had begun to wonder whether anything would happen in the course of
her
> medical treatment that would impress me.
>
> Perhaps it seems that I should be distraught and grief stricken about my
> mother's impending death, but I am not.  She has enjoyed a full and rich
> life, and seized valuable opportunities to pursue her beloved career in
> library science.  She has faithfully attended to her civic
responsibilities,
> and has never swayed from speaking the truth as she saw it, for the
benefit
> of convenience.
>
> There are too many people who have not had these opportunities, for one
> reason or another.  There are too many voices that call from the
darkness,
> yet are not heard.  With that in mind, I can think of nothing about my
> Mother's impending death that makes me sad, save for the illness from
which I
> wish she could have been spared, and the fact that I will miss her
dearly.
> Nevertheless, I will always have fond memories of my Mother's love.
>
> In many respects, I am lucky to have known her at all.  I feel the same
way
> about my Father, so I don't feel grief at this time, only the fortune of
> having been blessed with good parents.  I am aware that many people do
not
> know this particular comfort.
>
> My grief is for them.  I wish I could share with them what I have had.
>
> Having attended to the business affairs of final arrangements, I can sit
back
> now, and enjoy the time I have left with my Mom.  Everything seems in
order.
> I have decided not to attend her funeral.  I have spoken with her
minister.
> He is a wonderful man, and understands my reasons.  My own minister will
do
> something private with me.  I prefer to celebrate my Mother's life rather
> than mourn her passing.
>
> I mourn for those who never had the chance to live.
>
> Thank you, my friends, for being my friends.
>
> Betty