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From: | |
Reply To: | St. John's University Cerebral Palsy List |
Date: | Mon, 28 Feb 2000 12:04:29 -0800 |
Content-Type: | text/plain |
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Wee said. Boundaries have to be set in order for our children to become
responsible adults. Unfortunately it is not done enough with children in
our society.
Samantha
----- Original Message -----
From: Toddy <[log in to unmask]>
To: <[log in to unmask]>
Sent: Sunday, February 27, 2000 9:41 PM
Subject: Re: Parenting and CP
> I've been hestiant to express my opinion on parenting - and I'm
> definitely opinionated. Parents should set boundries, all sorts of
> boundries. My sons were not allowed to play in the street. They
> knew exactly how far down the sidewalk they could ride their trikes.
> Friends thought I was far too strict. Later the boys knew how far
> they could go on their bikes. Within their boundries, children need
> lots of "carefully supervised neglect". Dori's description of her
> mum watching her climb the fence is a perfect example of what I mean
> by "carefully supervised neglect".
>
> Parents also need to teach children to made decisions, starting with
> simple choices between two equal options. "Do you want orange juice
> or grape juice?" not "what do you want to drink?".
>
> You start very young with a very short lease and slowly lengthen it.
> If you have taught your children to set their own boundries and made
> sound decisions, they will not even realize when you let go. Both my
> sons went straight from high school into the Marines. I knew they
> would be fine. Some of the same friends who thought I was too strict
> when our kids were young worried every time their teenagers left the
> house. Some of them had reason to worry.
>
> Deri James wrote:
>
> > When do you remove that safety net?
> >
> > I remember my Mum saying that when I was 8 or 9 she'd see me in
> > the back garden trying to climb the garden fence after my sister
> > and all her friends into the orchard next door, and knowing that
> > even if I got to the top my technique for getting down was just
> > to let go. Rather than rush out and lift me over she go away from
> > the window and start dusting, one ear straining for the sound
> > that signalled I had managed to hit the clump of nettles that
> > always acted like a magnet.
> >
> > I really admired her for that.
> >
> > --
> > Deri James
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