*******WARNING************
**This post contains adult sexual material. It is a response to the Women's
Sexual Response postings. Don't read any further and simply delete this post
if you do not want to be exposed to this type of material.*****
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Thank You!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I want to apologize up-front for the euphmisms I'll use. I'm trying to walk
a fine line here. Even with my larger than life legal disclaimer and
warning, I want to discuss these things in an open adult manner, but we must
remember this is a public forum. It's difficult to say anything usefull,
without being vulgar or graphic, so please try to bear with me. Also my use
of metaphor in no way should be interperted as a cavalier attitude. This is
a very important subject and should be discussed with a certain degree of
seriousness, but by now most of you know my sense of humor and style of
communication. My words should be taken with all that in mind.
Renee mentioned the debate of how a woman reaches climax. I believe we can
trace the root of this trauma back to Sigmond Freud and his theory's of
immature and mature orgasms. As I understood it, his implication was a woman
was lacking if she could not achieve climax through intercourse alone. This
in my humble opinion is a big steaming pile of (well, you get the idea).
Disability aside, I look at this logically. This is a case of logistics.
The cliterous is too far away to get any decent stimulation through straight
intercourse. A slang term for the cliterous is "sweet spot." This is
appropriate, because I think plain old intercourse is like cake without
icing.
Oh sure, a piece of plain cake is a nice dessert, but wouldn't you really
prefer a sweet piece of cake slathered in icing? I know I would. And the
same holds true in reverse. It doesn't matter. You might live with a
"master baker", sometimes there's no cake to be had. Usually stashed away in
the back of the cupboard is a lone can of icing. I can only speak for
myself of course, but I think it's a safe bet that more than one or two women
here have pulled down the blinds and enjoyed a solitary indulgence. You
know? Went a little crazy and ate straight icing right out of the can?
However, icing alone may work every so often to state your craving, but for a
steady diet I prefer a nice hearty hunk of cake, with a little icing on the
side. :D (wink, wink- nudge, nudge)
Renee also mentioned her abilites to reach climax varied with not only age,
and bearing children, but with partners. I think this is perfectly normal.
Again, logistically speaking, one partner might have more to work with than
another. This of course in no way should be taken as slur on men. Remember
it's logistics and there is more than one way to travel. I had occasion to
be with a partner who was, well to put it mildly, "truly blessed." He had a
thin build, was wirey, and wiley. This combination allowed me to reach my
destination as the crow flies. (climax through intercourse alone) Even
though we could travel like that, we still took time to explore many less
traveled side roads. You are always trying to get to the same place, but
taking different routes keeps the trip from getting predictable.
Renee said, "I have mild CP in my legs (spastic diplegia) which somewhat
limits my range of motion & the positions I can use. I am wondering if this
is a factor in my level of stimulation from intercourse & what might remedy
this."
I too have mild spastic diplegia and am limited in my range of motion.
Twenty years ago I could do just about anything, but now I've had to get
creative. I'm less flexible than I used to be, and I have to take my
husband's ability into account. Although he is able-bodied and has nice
"equipment", he has a bad back and is a bear of a guy. Whereas in my youth,
my first partner was a contortionist and would climb all over me like a
jungle gym, this isn't possible with my husband.
For the best penetration I find (for lack of a classier term) "doggie-style"
best. I don't think this has much to do with disability either. Again,
it's logistics. If however you want to try and stay close to the missionary
position, the use of pillows can help tremendously. One or two sturdy
pillows placed under the small of your back will give the lower half of your
body the lift you might not be able to achieve on your own. Personally, I
prefer the combination. (AND I'm sure this is way more than most of you
wanted to know about Denise :D) - If you start out with the pillows, then at
the appropriate time, switch and finish being mounted from behind, it has a
two-fold purpose. I find I'm less likely to get achey or stiff from staying
in one postion. After so long in one position, my legs tend to get spasms,
by switching around, this helps prevent the stress and strain. Of course,
once you do reach climax it's hard to differentiate between "spasms" anyway.
:D
Mag is right also about trying to stay loose. AND lets not forget the most
important and overlooked aspect of sex - your brain! Sure a certain portion
is nuts and bolts, so to speak, but what makes respectable sex, great sex, is
your frame of mind. Regardless of how technically proficient the act may be,
or what your level of mobility you have, when two people who love each join
as one, you will experience the warmth of intimacy. - Well, that's all for
now. Denise who's hoping you all still respect me in the morning!
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