Thanks for sharing your story Beth -- on this Friday morning after a few good
hours of sleep (even though I didn't fall asleep until early in the morning),
I can see that my Uncle was trying to think of practical matters.  He is
misinformed about the mortgage issue, but this is the way he is.

Mom does know what hospice means.  I happened to call them Tuesday to find
out if they had resources to help us even though Mom didn't have a six months
or less diagnosis (their criteria).  They said they couldn't help us unless
she did.  Of course, at the time, I didn't know that she did have that
diagnosis and neither did she.  I told her about my conversation with Hospice
of Northern Virginia and this was fresh in her mind when the social worker
stopped in for her visit.

All of this will sort itself out; I'm only angry at this point that no one on
the medical team coordinated with each other or me before they broke this
news to my Mom.  This was not a smooth hand off.

In a message dated 06/02/2000 2:16:54 AM Eastern Daylight Time,
[log in to unmask] writes:

> I can fully sympathize with this situation - it seems these days a lot of
> folks
>  in the medical field 'tell it like it is', whether the patient really
wants
> to
>  know (or the family wishes them to know) or not.  I know my mom (who seems
>  pretty healthy) has often said - if I get a terminal disease, I do NOT
want
> to
>  know about it - she believes that in knowing, it will shorten her
lifespan.
> I
>  do wish the folks that are health care workers would take more care in how
> they
>  go about things.  You (meaning you and the family) may need hospice in
> trying to
>  deal with this, but seems to me they could have handled this a bit
> differently
>  and let you all take advantage of their aid, without your mom being told
"it'
> s
>  hospice" since I'm sure she knows what that term is!  Sounds like to me
that
>  "uncle" was reacting in shock - some people think of the oddest things
when
> bad
>  stuff happens........  I remember being 8 years old, and I was in a wreck.
 (
> not
>  a real bad one - but scary - we slid down an entire street of ice, and
> slammed
>  into a fire hydrant.  If it hadn't been there, we'd have hit a house most
>  likely).  My reaction ??   After the car stopped spinning - I picked up the
>  'litter bag' we had hanging in the car, and hung it back up!  (Afterwards
> you
>  think - what a stupid thing to have done!)..........
>