Yes, Betty, it seems that you and your Mom have it figured out pretty well.
Sometimes you have to hurt someone's feelings to make an important point. I
guess this all reminds me of how my Mom suffered for 4 years with breast
cancer, only to have a 15 inch tumor found in her eusapgus.  they could not
get it all, and it went to her lung, and she died from that.
and sometimes i wonder if she could have lived those 4 years without chemo
and radiation and all the horrible pain and nausea she had.   only the lord
knows, i guess
Love,
mag