> It has been cold up here lately.
>
> I decided that these following excerpts from church bulletins
> sure made me feel better.
>
> Hope you all enjoy them, Martin
>
>
>
> Found in Church bulletins:
>
> Scouts are saving aluminum cans, bottles and other items to be
> recycled.  Proceeds will be used to cripple children.
>
> The outreach committee has enlisted 25 visitors to make calls
> on people who are not afflicted with any church.
>
> The pastor would appreciate it if the ladies of the
> congregations would lend him their electric girdles for the
> pancake breakfast next sunday morning.
>
> The audience is asked to remain seated until the end of the
> recession.
>
> The Low Self Esteem Group will meet Thursday at 7pm.  Please
> use the back door.
>
> The third verse of Blessed Assurance will be sung without
> musical accomplishment.
>
> For those of you who have children and don*t know it, we have a
> nursery downstairs.
>
> the Reverend Merriwether spoke briefly, much to the delight of
> the congregation.
>
> The pastor will preach his farewell message, after which the
> choir will sing, *Break Forth into Joy.*
>
> A songfest was hell at the Methodist Church Wednesday.
>
> Next Sunday Mrs. Vinson will be the soloist for the morning
> service. The pastor will then speak on, *It*s a Terrible
> Experience.*
>
> Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our church and
> community.
>
> The 8th graders will be presenting Shakespeare*s Hamlet in the
> church basement on Friday at 7 PM.  The congregation is invited
> to attend this tragedy.
>
> The concert held in Fellowship Hall was a great success.
> Special thanks are due to the minister*s daughter, who labored
> the whole evening at the piano, which as usual fell upon her.
>
> Thursday night potluck supper.  Prayer and medication to
> follow.
>
> Don*t let worry kill you.  Let the Church help.
>
> The rosebud on the alter this morning is to announce the birth
> of David Alan Belzer, the sin of Rev. and Mrs. Julius Belzer.
>
> This afternoon there will be a meeting in the South and north
> ends of the church.  Children will be baptized at both ends.
>
> Wednesday the Ladies Liturgy Society will meet.  Mrs. Jones
> will sing *Put me in my Little Bed,*  accompanied by the
> pastor.
>
> Thursday at 5:M there will be a meeting of the Little Mothers
> Club. All wishing to become Little Mothers, please see the
> minister in his private study.
>
> This being Easter Sunday, we will ask Mrs. Lewis to come
> forward and lay an egg on the altar.
>
> The ladies of the church have cast off clothing of every kind
> and they may be seen in the church basement Friday.
>
> At the early evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be
> *What is Hell*?  Come early and listen to our choir practice.
>
> Weight Watchers will meet at 7 PM at the Presbyterian Church.
> Please use the large double door at the side entrance.
>
> Pastor is on vacation.  Massages can be given to the church
> secretary.
>
> 8 new choir robes are needed, due to the addition of several
> new members and the deterioration of some older ones.
>
> Mrs. Johnson will be entering the hospital this week for
> testes.
>
> The Senior Choir invites any member of the congregation who
> enjoys sinning to join the choir.
>
> Please join us as we show our support for Amy and Alan who are
> preparing for the girth of their first child.
>
> The Lutheran Men*s group will meet at 6:M.  Steak, mashed
> potatoes, green beans, bread and dessert will be served for a
> nominal feel.
>
> The Associate Minister unveiled the church*s new tithing slogan
> last Sunday:  *I upped my pledge - Up Yours!*
>
>
Wonderful. Tears in my eyes.
--
Deri James
Slam a revolving door today!