In this line of questions, I would like to hear some oppinions too ...

The first analyst I went to, brutaly stopped the cure after 3 months
because I missed 2 times without notice. I wouldn't have had any problem
with that if I would have been told that missing without notice was
unacceptable. I have to admit the fact that I was told that I *should*
call in the case I wouldn't come to the next meeting, but I was never
told that not doing that would mean the end of the cure. My appologies
were not accepted, nore was there any openness for explanations.  I do
think this is an unprofessional act, or the analyst's motivation was not
a sincere one ...

Best regards,
Cip

Cip, I have some opinions but I do not want to make judgments in this
instance about professionalism because I am not clear about the meaning
of that term:

1) Especially if you were an adolescent when this happened, then the
most generous judgment I would make about this therapist's decision is
that it represents a deficiency of therapeutic skill.

2) Many therapists who I know and admire would not have reacted so
severely to anyone at any age, and it is my opinion that the situation
as you describe it says a lot to me that is not complimentary about the
therapist's practice-managment ability.

3) Although you may find it hard to think of it this way, my reaction to
reading this experience of yours is that if you were too vulnerable to
be able to decide yourself to end the treatment, you may have been
fortunate in being spared any other (perhaps more detrimental) instances
of similar severity.

4) If you were not given alternatives, such as another therapist whom
you could see who would be more clear or more tolerant or such as a
later time to schedule with this same therapist after you had some time
to consider his/her absence policy, the therapist's behavior would be
what I would personally consider unacceptable.

5) It is of course good courtesy to let anyone know when you will be
unable to keep any appointment. But these days I find it commonplace
that many folks either do not know this or consider it to be a far less
important courtesy than it is.

Perhaps there was a cultural or age difference that put you and this
therapist out of synchrony with normative standards in the matter of
giving notice of missed sessions. These days folks miss appointments of
all sorts with all sorts of professionals with a comfort level that was
more rare in my youth.

Long ago I was advised up-front when I began analysis that I would be
financially responsible for all missed but scheduled
sessions--regardless of the reason and regardless of whether I gave
notice or not.

However if my analyst was able to reschedule the time for someone else
whenever I gave sufficient notice, I would not be charged. I thought
this was a reasonable policy that had the practical effect of making
sure my analyst didn't go without payment for his time if I was absent
and that I would not have to pay for missed sessions if we both had
sufficient time and opportunity to make other plans.

There was some lenincy in his policy for rare bona fide emergencies on
my part since, after all, there may have been bona fide emergencies on
my analyst's part, too, whenever he would have to miss rarely but
unexpectedly. That is, I would usually not be charged when I missed in a
real emergency while my analyst got to decide what was an emergency.

6) I think it is a professional courtesy at least, if not a necessary
procedure to maintain good relations with all patients, that a therapist
spell out as soon as possible his or her attendance policy. And it is
surely a mere human courtesy to not penalize someone who violates one's
policy early in a relationship whenever that someone doesn't even know
what the policy is.

Jim Duffy

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