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Thank you for the sixteen responses I received. Made me feel better that I
was not being a pain in the neck when I was out ordering food in a
resturaunt.  On of the hardest things for me is to try and be "normal" when
ordering and not be "different".  I am an American that has lived in
Australia for six years so trying to not to sound different is a challenge
already!  I had just learned to really love the meat pies as a fast food.
No more!  By the way, Wollongong is two hours south of Sydney.

Most of the responses from people had similar experiences. Following are
excerpts of e-mails received to learn to cope.  Maybe they can be of some
help to someone else.  I got a lot out of it.

Do not eat at franchise places where nobody really knows what is in the
food.

Broiled fish with nothing but lemon juice, Greek salad with nothing but
olive oil and oregano, Grecian chicken (broiled) with nothing but olive oil
and oregano and garlic are my standards when eating out.  I take along
gluten-free bread or gluten-free rolls I've made or obtained from a health
food store.

I disagree with you, I don't think it is someone else's job to pay
attention to my special diet it is my responsibility.  I have no problems
eating out and I handle it myself, never ask what is gluten free or not.
(I don't agree with that concept, but if it works for this person, go for
it.)

While this is so frustrating, I know we have to remember that not everyone
knows everything about every food disorder--even a lot of
gastroenterologists seem to be not so up-to-date on celiac, it seems.  The
waitress and probably not the food staff could really be expected to know
how affecting gluten can be to people with celiac or even what gluten is.
You know how hard it is to find foods without gluten, imagine how the
waitress felt with no knowledge of celiac beyond what you could explain.

We have Chilis in Canada and I can usually eat there safely.  The manager
at the one near my house said I was about the 400th person to ask him about
gluten free stuff and was very knowledgable about the menu.  Can't say the
same for the staff, they brought out a salad with croutons and a marinated
chicken breast once, so I sent it back with no problem.  Check again - you
should be able to get an unmarinated chicken breast cooked anyway they
serve it (look under the health grills section) and their burgers are okay
in Canada (no bun!).  Their fries are not, but I had no trouble getting a
salad with oil and vinegar dressing.

i am writing to recommend you always use a restaurant card.  i have these
in the languages necessary, and you hand one to the waiter/ess and get
him/her to take it into the kitchen to someone responsible.  then you wait
for the feedback.  this is much more reliable than trying to communicate
verbally and much less frustrating.  the best thing is to ring ahead if you
can - especially if you are invited to a function.  the celiac society of
nsw has pretty good suggestions for restaurant cards.

I have found that it's simpler to order something that you know is safe
rather than ask the waiting staff about what is and isn't okay. The problem
is, what's safe? For lunch I used to order a bowl of rice and a salad
without dressing.

Eating out on a GF diet is even more interesting when you're on holiday
abroad. Luckily there are several books and websites which have restaurant
cards in different languages, though I don't know if there are any
restaurant cards for any of the countries near Australia.

One tip:  for lunches out during work after a while I managed to find
establishments with friendly kitchen and waiters/waitresses who were
willing to do things a little differently for me - and they got a very
steady customer in return.

My point is that there is no one solution since people respond in so many
different ways.  Kitchens are often chaotic and it is difficult to ask for
no croutons, etc.  I have had waiters listen very carefully, ask
appropriate questions, and then present food covered in floury sauces with
crumbs.  I have had waiters who appeared to be annoyed and refuse to
listen, but then had the chef make a special arrangement of vegetables
instead of a sauce.  Can't even say that it is a language problem.
Occasionally it may seem futile to even mention it, and best to order very
simply, but it is their business to serve and you do deserve special care.
When they seem to have no interest in trying to help, as in your case,
sometimes you can use extreme politeness and flattery and suggest that you
really do need more than just lettuce, perhaps a potato or extra
vegetables...but if food is not made to order perhaps they can't.  Calling
ahead does not always work either, just as requesting special meals on
airlines gives mixed results.  Try to keep in mind that not everyone can
understand and appreciate our problem, but we need to impress upon them
that it is a serious diet issue, not just an eccentricity.  And that we do
like to eat!  I think the message is often confused with the dietary
restrictions embraced by people for assorted reasons.  Restaurants do not
in fact have to cater to all; they should be responsive when it is a health
concern.

Here in Texas where Chili's got started, we know better than to try to eat
at franchise places where nobody there really knows what is in the food.
It is shipped to them and they heat it up and serve it to you.  Of course,
there may be a whole different bunch of food restrictions where you live,
but here, we avoid any place to eat that doesn't start with food from
scratch and be responsible for it.

It is basically up to you to figure out what you can and can't eat at the
restaurant.  You can ask what ingredients they use, what brands, etc of
food they are making.

If you ask them this, and tell them why, they are usually pretty good.
Unless they actually know what celiac is, they still wo'nt understand what
you are talking about.  But if you ask for your salad with NO dressing or
bread of any kind, etc etc etc and your meat must be plain with no
seasoning, etc the restaurants are pretty good.  We haven't had much
trouble.

As long as you don't expect miracles of understanding from them.  I always
put myself back in teh position of being ignorant like I was before my
son's diagnosis.  I thought celiac jsut meant you couldn't eat bread and I
didn't know why.  Most people are in this boat.  The chef's are trained to
cook, not be dieticians.  But if you you are clear about what you want,
they are happy to make it for you.  If they don't have what you need, just
ask if you can bring your own in.

Oh but you need to write or type on a card what gluten is like:
 Bread, vinegar and etc because most don't have a clue and it may be
some time before they do,or go out to the kitchen and talk to them

You have to wonder about some people and their commitment to their work.
Now, if I worked in the restaurant industry I'd make sure I found out
everything I could to help customers.

Sometimes the waitress is young and inexperienced (doesn't think) and
sometimes the waiter has understood and is planning to bring out the salad
personally, but someone in the kitchen "helps" and brings out the standard
salad with croutons.  Either way, I understand how frustrating it is when
everybody at the table has their order, and you are trying to make the
staff understand your needs.  Besides that, you are hungry!

try NOT to talk about gluten but say that you can't eat anything that has
flour in it, or bread.