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Subject:
From:
Becky Coleman <[log in to unmask]>
Reply To:
Paleolithic Eating Support List <[log in to unmask]>
Date:
Sat, 22 Jan 2000 22:55:53 EST
Content-Type:
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What I find painful is that some one will look at themselves in the mirror
and be ashamed of or disgusted with their own image regardless of their body
size. Life is too short to spend it hating our bodies because our culture has
decreed that one size should fit all. We all contribute to the consensus
consciousness that fat is ugly and "painful to look at." I understand that
some of us really believe that big fat people are disgusting and that they
feel justified saying so. And I think that's the real shame. Not because I
pity fat people or because I once weighed 290 pounds but because it's
evidence of how we insist on hardening our hearts to other people and to
ourselves.

It's my assumption that the reason we are here experimenting with Paleo is
because we have the desire to take good care of our bodies. Whether it's
living in a body size that is less encumbering, more comfortable, and more
energetic or relieving oneself of life-inhibiting symptoms, it all seems to
be about taking care of these bodies so we can get more enjoyment out of
life. Taking good care of something or some one does not come out of hating
it or them.

What was painful to me about watching 48 hours was seeing suffering people
desperately harness their shame, guilt, fear, and disgust about being fat and
using their feelings as a weapon against themselves. These qualities are
short-term motivators at best. Many of us learn that discipline has to come
from feeling inadequate in some way. Motivation that withstands the years of
social functions, emotional ups and downs, and peer pressure to eat "the
forbidden fruits" - motivation that fuels a fiercely compassionate discipline
- that kind of enduring motivation does not come out of hating something or
from feeling inadequate. The kind of motivation that makes a difference
between yo-yo dieting and using food to take care of one's body for life
comes out of a soft and permeable heart that initiates action out of love.
Love for one's body or love for life, like that beeming from Grayson's face as
 he's sliding down the slide.

With hope for greater compassion and respect for ourselves and others,
Becky Coleman

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