Pat said: >>Pat, it may just be me but maybe you should use emoticons as the >>smiley :-) a little more liberally - without your remark could for a >>sensitive soul be taken as a somewhat testy and hostile statement. Peter said: >Wellnow, really, thank you so much for this public reprimand, how very >generous of you to assume your other members are too dense to grasp my >sense of humor or too inspoken to take care of their own understanding >and email relationships. I am one of those "dense" members to which you refer who has sometimes felt very uneasy when you have expressed yourself in too ambiguous terms and I do not know for sure if you are expressing yourself in jest or if you actually are expressing a grudge against somebody - and this is even though it has never been expressed towards me. As a "regular" member of this list I would have reacted no differently than I have with now you, because I know the fear of being ridiculed, being called thick and a bad sport would prevent most people from speaking up. Anybody who remembers from the list before I started as moderator can attest to this. Pat, you have a strong wit and powerful command of the English language I can only envy but it sometimes can be a little intimidating for the less educated and verbally endowed like myself. >Such children would surely be lost without such superior leadership. You would be surprised how few people feel safe to speak up for themselves in a forum such as this. Besides, I spoke up because your sarcasm made me, Peter, feel uncomfortable. >Right now I assure you I have lost my sense of humor. Sorry I >can't find an emoticon for you so that you can understand my meaning >here, but suffice it to say that I am much too old to need another >daddy, and cannot, will not tolerate a dictator who gets his jollies >from sending guests in his home whose opinions are at odds from his >own into the closet, only allowing them out if they make public >apology, and promise to be good. You must be alluding to the vegans who were booted off the list. I do not see how it makes me a dictator asking people to either respect the present guidelines of the list or to discuss with me in private or public which part they disagree with, how they think they could be improved or if they think I am being a hypocrite. You apparently agree with the present guidelines but do not approve of my style of executing them. I have chosen from the start an open style of moderation rarely expressing my grievances with somebody in private. I have chosen this approach so everybody can follow what I am doing so to prevent fears of favoritism. It not only gives me necessary feedback if I am out of line but also assures those who feel they might have been treated unfairly that indeed they, rather than their "offenders", are being protected. Besides, we all make mistakes, and I do not see the big deal in to publicly admitting when we have been off. The problem with some people feeling that have been too dictatorial has come into the focus when they have felt that they were being unfairly chided and felt that they were supposed to confess their sins in public despite them feeling they were in the right. I am not sure how to remedy this. As a moderator I cannot please everybody but if I observe some people feeling unfairly treated but who are unable to listen to (my definition of) reason, mend their ways or involve themselves in (my definition of)constructive dialogue, then all I can do is to call the shots as I see them and hope that somebody will call me on it if they see me being out of line or not living up to my own principles (or better principles) and practicing what I preach. >Apparently this list is not a forum for diversity of ideas, but a >dictatorship. What has criticizing you for not using smileys have to do with censoring ideas? >OK. It's your list, you have the right. It is not "my" list. I just happen to be the present moderator. >And so do I. Shove it, Peter. (That's a stop). Pat, since you have been on the list I have several times gently hinted to you that sarcasm comes across very poorly in a written forum like this and using emoticons is an easy remedy to avoid misunderstandings. All I am asking is that you please respect & honor this concern. The last thing on my mind was to offend you, and I hope this message has contributed to a better understanding between us. Peace? Best, Peter [log in to unmask]