aloha! rawies & cookies, last thursday i cycled on over to the hfs (health food store) and foraged the aisles. 89 cents for huge organic romaine lettuce. and more... back home, sprawled on the couch. while petting my cat upon my lap (which feline at this moment lays upon my seated thighs), i reached for and devoured another proud romaine leaf. breathing, closing my eyes, i opened them to find an amazing sight. a moth on my meal. about the size of a silver dollar. i cracked the leaf from its base and brought the winged visitor in for a closer look. inches from my eye, i noticed the amazing patterns and legs and head and abdomen and wings and dust and wings... holding the big brown guy (gender unknown) upon the bigger green leaf provided exceptional clarity of obervation. trembling moth. bruno's stressometer flashed in my mind. moth walks onto my finger. i drop the lettuce, and max(cat) looks up. curious cat. here, look at this. grandmother max maintained her equanimity while sniffing my finger. the moth didn't provoke her. placing hand on lap, the moth walks off into the unknown. his path leads him to pass directly in front of max. max attacks. claw paw! and the moth in the claw paw, up, up, towards the gaping jaws! ...and the moth falls to the side and continues on hir way. [timothy leary, who will orbit the earth with gene roddenberry and others {or at least a portion of their respective ashes}, created "hir" as a gender-neutral word.] i let moth crawl on back of hand. (okay, i placed my hand in the projected path of moth) "crawl onto my palm, and i'll eat you," i thought. max slept. not her destiny to eat moth tonight. thoughts of native views flashed... ...indigenous attitudes towards hunting, where the spirit of the animal receives thanks & blessings & respect & gratitude for *giving* itself. please the deer spirit and another deer will offer their life. vegan-bodhi resonated with natives in many areas, but the food trip got difficult at times. vegan vision had me seeing the accounts of plains indians living on a buffalo flesh in a much different light than now. now. now i feel closer to native nutrition. and not just because of ronald schmids book (though it did help! and still does!). through zephyr, kirt, ward, bruno, and others, i have found something very precious. wild eating leads to wild thinking. and wild living. to fully understand what i mean by *wild*, please focus your attention on a collection of essays by my favorite poet: the practice of the wild by gary snyder good ole' gary. inspires me with his mountain living and zen meditation and into infinity. highly reccomend anything you can find by him (used book store poetry cases encouraged). eating omniraw, i feel *wild*. i yearn to lay on the beach, hike through the redwoods, and frolic in the sun. nude gardening & reading in a sunbath (& herbal bath, but i'll bring that up in another post). the red snapper, cod, & halibut that i got with the romaine produced intense odors while laying in the dehydrator. red snapper went first. the next day, the cod. leathery/crusty exterior and moist, white flesh interior. halibut dried most of the way and inhabits my fridge now. eating seafood brings me closer in spirit and flesh to the tribes that inhabited my birthplace. near sechelt, on the sunshine coast of british columbia, the sechelt tribe ate great quanities of sealife. how great i feel to not reject that integral aspect of their existence. moth. crawled onto my palm and remains there, vibrating. holding my hand up in a half-prayer, i contemplate the moth spirit. thank you, o moth of brown wing & deep beauty, for offering yourself. may your sacrifice feed this body, mind, & spirit so that i too may one day offer myself to a greater good. i accept your generosity. "bodhi, are you still a buddhist? how can you be a buddhist if you kill?" my good friend from high-school implored me as i visited him last week. he eats a lot of algae, but no moths. at least, not intentionally. "i eat everything i kill. i cause no unnecessary harm, harvesting life as quickly & painlessly as i can. i consider myself a buddhist & a compassionate carnivore. you can call me anything." omnivorous omniscience. sp? moth in the palm of my hand. a third of an hour contemplating, thanking, thinking, accepting, respecting. gently, i bring the romaine up and moth climbs aboard. breathing, noticing, eyes wide open, i see moth come to a stop. so beautiful. i close the leaves quickly and firmly. the result looks more interesting than beautiful to this eye. with a head on one half leaf and most of a body on the other, i took in the whole scene of my mashed moth. body sauce oozed a pale beige onto the brilliant green romaine. breathing, grokking. breathing, then licking, chewing, tasting... ... or not tasting, in this case. spiders have registered a similar lack of flavor, unlike ants which burn the tongue like hot chili peppers! mostly i allowed my heart to slow from the tremendous emotion involved in my first moth merging. and the sun still shines. and don't worry about max missing moth, 'cause she got some good gulps of snapper before i finished it. she loves egg whites fresh and even three days later at floor temperature. she gets quite a steady supply of egg white, most of it coming from judys farm. certified organic eggs. "old fashioned" proclaims the egg carton. along with that comes this not-so-often-termed-old-fashioned information: visit our website: www.judysfarm.com o yea! for easy access, click/copy/cut this: http://www.judysfarm.com/ official site of eggs i eat. i see a white moth fluttering in the sunshine outside my double-glass door that gives the most natural lighting in this unhygienically-constructed studio apartment. chemical walls & carpets. i don't ask anyone to fear the world, just keep the vision of it changing. see it. believe it. vision becomes reality. work on your vision. and if you feel so inclined, please share it with me. i read raw-food, raw, bionomic forum, & veg-raw, along with all my personal email, not to mention snail mail, phonecalls... sometimes i feel more *domesticated* than *wild*. time to hang from a bar, or stand on my head, or take a shower. water changes me! the way of water, friends... and breathing deep in the sun. get out there and live raw & wild! invisible awareness, bodhi first to come in was a flyin' moth uh-huh first to come in was a flyin' moth uh-huh first to come in was a flyin' moth she layed out the table cloth' uh-huh uh-huh uh-huh _froggie_went_a_courtin'_ from "good as i been to you" by bob dylan next to come in was the old gray cat uh-huh next to come in was the old gray cat uh-huh next to come in was the old gray cat swallowed the mouse and ate up the rat uh-huh, uh-huh, uh-huh _froggie_went_a_courtin'_ from "good as i been to you" by bob dylan