Discourse with Dr. Jammeh: Worst Case Scenario

 Did you know, Dr. Jammeh, that Chief Nak and other neotraditional rulers of his ilk employed their own personal police units and established their own personal jails where they tortured and sometimes killed their real or perceived opponents? Yes, they did. They created what might today be termed a shadow state, a series of notorious personal authority structures outside the scope of the official structures. These personal authority structures are linked directly to the neotraditional ruler and recognize no other authority apart from the neotraditional ruler, who frequently issued orders from above that had no respect for any norms of civility whatsoever. Like you, they routinely imposed forced victories. They were, after all, neotraditional rulers who lacked popular legitimacy and who did not care a wit about those aspects of true traditional laws and mores that frowned upon acts of brutality and injustice inflicted on the innocent by the powerful. All they cared for was to maintain themselves in power for as long as possible. Consider for example, the strange case of Warrant Chief Nyammeh Alador, alias Daaf, who has given a very bad name to all pretenders to neotraditional rulership.

Like Nak, Nyammeh Alador employed several units of personal security outfits to help him effectively extort monies and properties from innocent people. One of these units was composed of foreigners who, because they knew no one in the local area, could inflict all manner of brutalities on whoever Nyammeh asked them to handle. For the members of this unit, and all the others, Nyammeh’s wish was their command, his command their inviolable law. Nyammeh Alador had another secret police unit made up of both natives and foreigners whose job it was to infiltrate all nooks and crannies of the local society and report back to their boss on his enemies and potential enemies and saboteurs – real or imaginary. Poking their noses indiscriminately into everybody’s affairs, Nyammeh’s secret police ratted out any persons who made any funny sounds or gestures that may be interpreted to refer to Chief Nyammeh. A semblance of a frown or a failure to smile as someone glanced at one of Nyammeh’s numerous wooden statues could earn them thirty or more lashes of the Chief’s favorite whip, the knife-like yarr, on their bare backs or buttocks. At every cracking of the cutting whip, the culprit was supposed to loudly and clearly say, “Nyammeh Alador is my Chief!” Failure to loudly and clearly repeat this sacred mantra meant the restarting of the counting from one. This meant that sometimes, people who were condemned to receive thirty lashes of the yarr ended up receiving up to a hundred lashes or more. Now because neo-traditional rulers are seldom accountable to the people they lord it over, the temptation to behave like Nyammeh Alador is unusually strong. Which is why, Dr. Jammeh, we really cannot allow you to continue being a neotraditional ruler without question. The least we can do is say no, no, no to neotraditional rulership within a constitutional framework!!

Like Nak, Nyammeh Alador was one of District Officer Curt Clark’s warrant chiefs. But while Nak was almost cow-like in his slowness to pick a fight, Nyammeh Alador was a cantankerous fellow who loved a good fight. Legend has it that before he became chief, Nyammeh was a famous wrestler who liked to talk and hear about his victories but never about his defeats. As a Chief, Nyammeh Alador was easily given to grabbing his fellow chiefs, especially the older or weaker ones, and dashing them viciously to the ground at the slightest provocation. He had gotten into trouble with the DO on a few occasions and Curt Clark kept him on only because Nyammeh Alador collected more taxes and tributes than any other single chief. Curt also liked the fact that Nyammeh Alador’s village was very peaceful thanks to the brutal manner in which the chief “handled” his “natives.” To Curt, Nyammeh Alador knew how to “talk” to the ignorant natives in the only language they understood – force and violence!

Nyammeh Alador placed such importance on wrestling because it was through a wrestling encounter that he was appointed chief. Replacing Nak as Curt’s clerk, interpreter and bodyguard, Nyammeh Alador took to grabbing and dashing to the ground anyone who as much as dared look Curt in the eye, ask the DO a difficult question or disagree with any of Curt’s words or actions. Which is how it happened that one day, when Curt Clark had a mild argument with one of his older warrant chiefs, Nyammeh Alador pounced on the offending chief and tried to throw him down. Unfortunately, that chief was a much better wrestler than Nyammeh. Quick as a lightening flash, the chief pranced aside, grabbed Nyammeh by the waist, and sent him flying and crashing in the famous busulu style.  Imagine his shock when Nyammeh Alador felt as if his face was exploding as it crashed and dragged against the hard ground. He saw sparks of fire and called out to his long dead mother. The next thing he knew, it was raining on his head as people tried to revive him by pouring water over his badly bruised face. The offending chief was promptly sacked and for his pains, Nyammeh Alador was named chief in his place.

Now because of the hard impact his face made with the ground, Nyammeh Alador henceforth felt as if some object was firmly lodged in his nose. For this reason, he developed the peculiar habit of constantly blowing his nose. And in order to punish the people for the crime of their former chief and to make them know that he was now their chief whether they liked it or not, Nyammeh insisted that anytime he blew his nose, everyone present had to loudly say ‘bless you, thank you!’ When there were no scheduled meetings or gatherings at which the custom could be observed, Nyammeh Alador would summon everyone to the village square and repeatedly blow his nose and had everyone loudly shout “bless you, thank you!” Failure to attend the meetings or to visibly and loudly shout the mantra meant thirty lashes of the dreaded yarr. Sometimes, when the strange object in his nose prevented him from sleeping, Nyammeh Alador would order the village crier to go around his district beating loudly on his drum and summoning everybody to a midnight meeting at the chief’s compound1 Failure to attend was not an option. And when everyone gathered in the middle of the night, Nyammeh Alador would come forth from his big house, sit on his chiefly throne, a blow his nose a thousand times or more and have everybody loudly say “bless you, thank you.’ His notorious secret police melted into the crowd and sniffed out those who refused to repeat the mantra or those who did not say it loudly enough.

Because he knew that people did not like his nose-blowing habits, Nyammeh Alador created yet another special secret police unit whose task was to infiltrate the people and report back on people complaining about his nose-blowing or anything else. Every night, these informers reported back to the chief. Few of their reports were complimentary or pleasant. Most were particularly uncomplimentary and this made Nyammeh really angry. He heard it reported that his nose-blowing was really stupid and callous and that in fact, he was a fake Muslim who secretly worshipped Jalang Sunkang Jootoo, the most evil and malevolent of the local deities. These stories often made him summon the people in the middle of the night and blow his nose a thousand times and insist that everyone shouted “bless you, thank you.” When he got tired of blowing his nose, Nyammeh Alador would merely touch his nose and insist that everybody said “bless you, thank you.” He had to show them that he was their chief and he would be their chief forever whether they liked it or not.

You see, Dr. Jammeh, we are relating Nyammeh Alador’s story at such great detail for two main reasons. One, he was a cruel and unjust ruler and rulers should not be cruel and unjust. So beware cruel and unjust. Two, he should not have been chief in the first place because he was absolutely not chiefly material. He was a natural wrestler and should have aspired to become a great wrestler like the legendary Biram Hoja of Nyangorr fame. Three, since fate had it that he became chief in spite of himself, he should have been sensible and retired from the chieftaincy after a few years. But Nyammeh was a greedy fellow who had no sense of proportion. Thus, he was fated to hang on to power until the day when he would be violently swept aside by the unstoppable force of history. Please do not commit Nyammeh’s blunder!

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