I don't know if I sent this before, but I found this, and it's really funny. NO EXCUSE SUNDAY To make it possible for everyone to attend church next Sunday, we are going to have a special "No Excuse Sunday". Cots will be placed in the foyer for those who say, "Sunday is my only day to sleep in." There will be a special section with lounge chairs who feel that our pews are too hard. Eye drops will be available for those with tired eyes from watching T.V. late Saturday night. We will have steel helmets for those who say " The roof would cave in if I ever came to church." Blankets will be furnished for those who think the church is too cold and fans for those who say it is too hot. Score cards will be available for those who wish to list the hypocrites present. Relatives and friends will be in attendance for those who can't go to church and cook dinner, too. We will distribute "Stamp Out Stewardship" buttons for those who feel that church is always asking for money. One section will be devoted to trees and grass for those who like to seek God in nature. Doctors and nurses will be in attendance for those who plan to be sick on Sunday. The sanctuary will be decorated with both Christmas poinsettias and Easter lilies for those who never have seen the church without them. We will provide hearing aids for those who can't hear the preacher and cotton for those who say he is to loud. -- Author Unknown <>< <>< <>< <>< <>< <>< <>< <>< <>< THIS MESSAGE WAS SENT VIA GOOGLE GROUPS To learn more about E-Mail Ministry and read previous messages, visit our web site at: http://www.emailministry.org HOW DO I SUBSCRIBE? Send a blank e-mail to: [log in to unmask] or go to: http://www.emailministry.org/subscribe.asp Messages are sent out on Mondays, Wednesdays, & Fridays. Subscribe now, it's FREE! SUPPORT E-MAIL MINISTRY E-Mail Ministry is solely supported by its subscribers. To make a financial contribution, go to: http://www.emailministry.org/donate.asp E-Mail Ministry is a U.S. 501(c)(3) non-profit organization. HOW DO I SUBMIT A MESSAGE FOR E-MAIL MINISTRY? Send it to [log in to unmask] HOW DO I UNSUBSCRIBE? If you are a subscriber, send a blank e-mail to [log in to unmask] or go to: [log in to unmask] If this message was forwarded to you from another person, please notify them that you are not interested in receiving any further messages. To CHANGE YOUR E-MAIL ADDRESS: UNSUBSCRIBE from the old e-mail address and SUBSCRIBE from the new e-mail address or go to: http://www.emailministry.org/updateEmail.asp LEGAL STUFF: E-Mail Ministry and its sponsor run this message as submitted and do not claim to own any copyright privileges on it. The work was submitted to us as an item for distribution, and it was posted solely on the basis of its quality. It is the belief of E-Mail Ministry and its sponsors that this message is in the common domain. "E-Mail Ministry" is a trademark of E-Mail Ministry, Inc. -- The Staff of E-Mail Ministry [log in to unmask] http://www.emailministry.org --~--~---------~--~----~------------~-------~--~----~ You received this message because you are subscribed to E-Mail Ministry through the Google Groups "E-Mail Ministry" group. To unsubscribe from this group, send email to: [log in to unmask] For more options, visit this group at: http://groups.google.com/group/emailministry?hl=en -~----------~----~----~----~------~----~------~--~---