Its a running debate;
last year we caught P-nut peeking up the chimney on Christmas Day sure
that's where her toy came from .
.. This year we have more of a challenge
as she has been riding the "School bus"
for those that don't know the school bus is the philosophers stone
of learning ......."what's not taught in school."
Want to know where babies come from  .. "ride the school bus"
Bad words ..not a problem .......ride the school bus
Santa? give me a break
They get that the fist day ...Give em a hard one like
what is Hanna  Montana's real name ?
(see Disney for those in the dark)
So this year we need to use a bit of  clever forensics  if not slight of hand

Act  one  scene one.
Parents, as usual,
have red neck neighbors and family over for  hors DE overires and "Punch " served in a battered silver tureen that was thrown down the well so the Yankees wouldn't get it;
Since the punch is high octane The pie-ano (piano) and the party will get into full swing about 9pm

A blazing fire, carols, and the exchange of gifts will accompany a gaggle
of kids and dogs who inevitably will  tear through the house
leaving plastic  doll parts and pecan pie smears  to  grind under foot
The traditional singing  starts early
and it  sounds  better if you stand close to the punch bowl. 
"Away in the manger"  comes off quite well in the early going
followed by inaccurate and wobbly  versions of "Good King Whenschlooss"
then there is always Jingle bells "Last however the big hit was" Fleas Navida"  with the outside  dogs howling and scratching back up

Since It will be freezing tonight
The old people get the spot closest to the fire
while most of the men leave their outdoor coats on
(camo of course) and stand to the rear
near the pie,  the punch bowl,  and the ubiquitous porch grill where delicate shavings of seasoned deer meat, wild hog, and Ve-inner sausages will be sure to pass and please  the palate.(besides I got the  Korean BBQ sauce going this year)
Tonight  the P-nut is determined as ever to stay up and smoke Santa out;
You can read it on her face and the  furs of her brow
when the elderly aunts launch the lipstick on her cheek.
So when the last teetering  Uncle  finds the  door and stumbles  home
  we are to prepare ourselves   with a plan of action.

It has to be a clever and perfect; 
     one that can fool the P-nut and  even the OJ detectives if need be
Here are my few options/observations
A. extinguish the fire and make SANTA foot prints in the soot
  B....demolish the cookies and milk and trample the  reindeer food you have purposely left out side and made a big deal of
C. both  Plan A and B
  better yet
. C.
. leave torn  off "Santa " boxers dangling on the fire grate...?...
A and B are pretty good  my Mrs. sez but  disagrees  with C and  won't have anything to do with the boxers (unless I am in them) which  I figure bodes well for the new year  nes pas?
However  I claim the boxers are the clincher.  Merry Christmas !!! Just a few hours now  to go.   PY


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