-------------- Original message --------------
From: Kathy Du Bois <[log in to unmask]>

> Hi guys,
> Well, I'm headed to Portland today for a honey moon with my
> sweety. It's nine hours and counting. I can't
> wait. Unfortunately, The situation is a bit concerning because Matt
> had a small car accident last night and we're kind of leaving him to
> have to work things out. I have little clue what to do and Greg has
> to give directions by phone so this will definitely be a maturing
> experience for Matt, to say the least. Matt is fine. The car
> appears to have sustained only front end damage. Who knows what this
> will do to our car insurance. Greg has called a member of the
> congregation to go with Matt to look at the car and decide what to do
> from there. Right now, it is in the parking lot where Matt
> works. He feels aweful, but like I told him, I'm just glad he's
> okay. He's irreplaceable.
> What I'm really praising God for is how well both Greg and I stayed
> calm through the whole thing and got our priorities correct in
> putting our son's life above the car. I think that, earlier, we
> would have been a little more judgmental, but having gone through
> what we have been through with Chris has really helped us to see more
> clearly what is important and what is unimportant.
> By the way, I had a nice long talk with Chris again this week. He
> is really itching to get together with us, but I had to put him off
> because of scheduling and so forth. This was good because he sees
> very clearly that we are treating him as an adult and not just
> clinging to him and connecting with him on his terms. He did go down
> and take is pre-test for preparing for his G.E.D. studi es. He's
> wishing that he could get out of his relationship with Nicki, but he
> is afraid that she will kill herself if he breaks it off. He is
> feeling resigned to his fate of having to marry her because they've
> had sex, and I was able to talk with him about God's forgiveness and
> Grace and how God is the God of second chances. I talked about him
> taking the time to find himself and do some deep soul searching and
> he was kind of shocked. He asked me if I had been talking to his
> last therapist. I assured him that I had not, but he was amazed
> that, without collusion, we had both been saying the same things. He
> seems to be really thinking now. I think that he is regreting some
> of his choices. He said that if it hadn't been for Nicki, he'd
> probably still be home and in school and driving and more on
> track. This helped confirm for me, however, a decision that Greg and
> ; I had already made that we will probably not let him come home, even
> if he asks. At a distance, Chris treats us with respect, and we do
> better at keeping our opinions to ourselves. It is very hard not to
> slip back into the parent child relationship when an adult child
> moves back home for a season. We've seen that in our relationship
> with Matt. Old patterns are very hard to break. While I'll miss
> Matt, I'm glad that he's moving back to Michigan this June. It is
> good for both boys to continue to strive for independence and adulthood.
> Well guys, I'm off for a wonderful weekend. Please just pray for
> safety for all of us.
> God's peace to you all!
> Kathy
>