Ken, please don't worry, I didn't take any of it personally. I know you've been having a tough time. I just had to give you some ammunition for your side. ;) Hang in there, mate. We're on your side. Kat On 13 Apr 2006, at 21:39, ken barber wrote: you know, i love all you guys on this list. sometimes you snap at the people you care about because you can't bite the people you'd like to just punch out. i let my frustration spill over into our discussions and our relationship. i am not really frustrated and angry with you guys, i am frustrated and angry with the bureaucrates at the dept of labor. just like most of you i was born a person with a disability. we all know that. but the cp was not a total disability with me, i still had enough of ability to go to work. in 1973 cp was not total disability, in 1983 it was not total disability, in 1993 it was not. in 2003 my doctor told me i had repetitive stress injuries and had permanantly injured my tendons and ligaments in both arms and hands and had pulled a disk out in my neck. it is herniated. he took me off the job. i have seen 7 doctors 5 of which daid i had work injuries that had taken what the cp had left. 1 doctors opinion was so far out that even dol had to drop his out of the picture. they had 1 doctor that runs a headache clinic that saids i just had cp. 2 physical medicine specialist 2 normal practice neuros and one neuro that is part of a motion disorder clinic at emory university hospital all said i was injured on the job. one said i was not. all six said i am now totally disabled and even the quack said i was totally disabled. the dol hacks goes with the one. 15 months ago they put me on minimun benifits which is about 1200 less than i should be getting. what i get is fully taxable so it amounts to about 1500 in spendable money. when i finally got a hearing the woman that came was more interested in getting finished than in getting the facts and my lawyer,judy and me all are pessimistic that she is going to really give us a fair look at my case. we think that only if G-D in heaven acts will we win this round. my lawyer says that if i have to appeal to the next 2 levels, it may be 3 more years before i can get a final board hearing. i can't afford to live here and can't afford to leave. ben is in community collage and becouse of the hope scholarship here in georgia has no real cost. judy needs to stay here one more year to have a small pension built up with the georgia teachers retirement system even though she will not draw it until she is 62. we are slowly eating away at our savings just trying to last it out here. there is not enough to last 3 more years. this week i spent over a 1000 dollars on ben and judys cars. then today i packed up some of the best coins in my collection to ship to dallas to be auctioned off. it has all just been grating on me. i am fustrated with the bureaucrats for the absurdity that they admit that cp is not a progressive condition, but, fail to see the logic that if cp did not progress and i worked 30 years with co then something additional (a job injury) had to be the difference if i can now not work. i am frustrated and quite angry with them, but, then i snapped at you guys. i am really sorry about that. i can only hope you see where it came from by reading all of this. __________________________________________________ Do You Yahoo!? Tired of spam? Yahoo! Mail has the best spam protection around http://mail.yahoo.com ----------------------- To change your mail settings or leave the C-PALSY list, go here: http://listserv.icors.org/SCRIPTS/WA-ICORS.EXE?SUBED1=c-palsy ----------------------- To change your mail settings or leave the C-PALSY list, go here: http://listserv.icors.org/SCRIPTS/WA-ICORS.EXE?SUBED1=c-palsy