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In a message dated 12/27/2005 2:00:34 A.M. Central Standard Time,� Leland writes:

Michael,
Always wonderful to get your missives on the missus and the peanut.� I
just can't figure out where you find the time to actually write it all
down

When the "shit " actually happens to you its easy ; making it up is the hard part .

I didn't plan it that way but my home life is often like living in a Laurel and Hardy movie

�

"Blinded by the� lilac perfume� of the women� I� � am then� � pummeled into submission by a� smothering� � of mushy kisses and then backslapped into stupidity� � by� their overweight� � husbands� wearing bright red suspenders and checkered pants� "

�

You don't understand these people actually exist ;and I am related to them!�

�

"Suddenly� I am standing all� alone� in the hall clutching� on to all the ribbon� boxes they have deposited� � wearing a� red smear of lipstick on my forehead .

Unable to see behind the� tall boxes I stumble down the hall dazed� behind them and� enter the� drawing room where I am� not helped with the boxes but chided by my Mrs. for getting “fresh” with her cousin while she wipes the smear from my forehead.

�

This act� creates a great primitive� roar of laughter, to which� I keep telling myself that Christmas comes but once a year and then watch with horror as the unwanted relations sit� down and entertain themselves by talking loudly and putting their feet up on the furniture then� drain the nut bowl of� the last of its provisions ,

�

Next year...... lets trade�

Py�

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