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> A friend sent me this:
>
> In the year 2004, The Lord came unto Noah, who was now living in
> Canada, and said, "Once again, the earth has become wicked and over-
> populated and I see the end of all flesh before me. Build another Ark
> and save two of every living thing, along with a few Good humans." He
> gave Noah the blueprints, saying "You have six months to build the
> Ark before I will start the unending rain for 40 days and 40 nights".
>
> Six months later, the Lord looked down and saw Noah weeping in his
> yard, but no ark. "Noah", He roared, "I'm about to start the rain!
> Where is the Ark?"
> "Forgive me, Lord," begged Noah. "But things have changed. I needed a
> building permit. I've been arguing with the inspector about the need
> for a sprinkler system. My neighbors claim that I've violated the
> neighborhood zoning laws by building the Ark in my yard and exceeding
> the height limitations. We had to go to the Development Appeal Board
> for a Decision. Then Transport Canada and the Departments of Highways
> and Hydro demanded a Bond be posted for the future costs of moving
> power, trolley and other overhead obstructions, to clear the passage
> for the Ark's move to the sea. I argued that the sea would be coming
> to us, but they would hear nothing of it."
>
> "Getting the wood was another problem. There's a ban on cutting local
> trees in order to save the spotted owl. I tried to convince the
> environmentalists that I needed the wood to save the owls. But no
> go!" "When I started gathering the animals, I got sued by animal
> rights group. They insisted that I was confining wild animals against
> their will. As well, they argued the accommodation was too
> restrictive and it was cruel and inhumane to put so many animals in a
> confined space."
>
> "Then Environment Canada ruled that I couldn't build the Ark until
> they'd conducted an environmental impact study on your proposed
> flood."
> "I'm still trying to resolve a complaint with the Human Rights
> commission on how many minorities I'm supposed to hire for my
> building crew. Also, the trades unions say I can't use my sons. They
> insist I have to hire only Union workers with Ark building
> experience." "To make matters worse, the Canada Customs and Revenue
> Agency seized all my assets, claiming I'm trying to leave the country
> illegally with endangered species.
>
> So, forgive me, Lord, but it would take at least ten years for me to
> finish this Ark."
>
> Suddenly the skies cleared, the sun began to shine, and a rainbow
> stretched across the sky. Noah looked up in wonder and asked, "You
> mean you're not going to destroy the world?" "No", said the
> Lord. "The
> Government beat me to it."