EXCELLENT! Very intriguing!!!!!! WOW! Wouldn't that be something..... Paige On Sun, 11 March 2001, Deri James wrote: > > Hi, > > Thought I'd write a little bit of prose as my contribution, a short story of > alian abduction of a person with CP (well ISM raised the bar with his > excellent poem, but I'm just going to dive underneath). > > ---------------------------------------------------- > > Abducted > ======== > > "What the ....". > > You don't expect to see a bright pool of light while driving > through the puddled country lanes of a dank March evening. But > there it was right in front of me. > > A piercing white/blue oasis flooded through all the cars > windows. Then blackness... > > ... a winking light tugged at my consciousness, and I woke > up feeling warm and clammy. The room seemed like some sort > of doctors surgery, decked out with an advanced hologramic > display of my head showing the complex folds of my brain, > complete with aspidistra and eye-chart (which I couldn't > read!). > > "Welcumm earthling - my name is 'o" > > The surprise of seeing an alien bending over me was > nothing compared to hearing a voice which had the monotonic > drawl of someone with CP. > > "Are you understanning me earthling?". > > "I can't believe you have Cerebral Palsy, with all this > advanced medical equipment." > > He flicked a switch on the control panel and his voice > changed to a plummy Oxford accent: > > "Terribly sorry old boy, the Universal Translator > recognised your voice as 'CP English', I didn't realise > you understood 'Oxford English' as well!". > > Strangely I didn't feel frightened (probably the Dantrium > and Valium kicking in!!). The alien had no hair and quite a > high domed head. > > "Why have you abducted me?" > > "I wanted to talk to you. You see I am a researcher into > Terran Neuro Processes - three year fully funded > fellowship - very prestigious. Me and my colleague, > Cedric are fascinated with Human Heads - they are all > roughly the same size." > > For the first time I realised there was a second alien > standing absolutely still with a slightly vacant grin on his > face. Instantly noticeable was Cedric's dome was much > smaller, in fact the whole head seemed smaller. I glanced > back at Bo's gleaming dome. > > "Aah, I see you have noticed that Cedric has a number 3 > sized head - I", he proudly stroked his dome, "have a > number 7". > > Bo leaned closer covering the side of his mouth and said > confidentially. > > "Sometimes I wish I'd brought a size 4 with me, but I > would have had to include his name when we publish the > research - rules you know." Then towards Cedric, "Say > hello Cedric". > > The vacant look on Cedric's face slowly changed to a little > frown, then back to a vacant look as he slowly said: > > "Hullo ... Cedric". > > If Bo had had eyebrows they would have shot skywards. > > "I have a size 7 head", another stroke, "size 3's are > normally in politics or banking, but his Uncle is > supplying the funding!". He gave me a knowing nod. > > "Is size 7 the biggest?" > > "Well, there are a few size 8's, but they are all OTs > with GRE qualifications". > > "How can I help you?". > > "Ever since we discovered earth we could not understand > why you all had almost the same size heads. You can't all > be Occupational Therapists. I", stroked his dome, > "discovered that it is the use of the brain which differs > from person to person". > > A smug smile beamed from his face as though he had just told > me a great truth of the Universe, and he continued: > > "I don't quite understand why noone uses all their > brains, the best seem to use one third, but my break > through came a few years ago, after I abducted Ronald > Reagan and found practically no brain activity at all - > and I realised here was a classic size 2 head political > leader!!". > > "My latest discovery is very interesting. All the people > who talk CP English or CP French (in fact CP anything), > have very interesting brains. It appears part of it is > damaged, but they seem to have trained part of their > brains to do the functions which the damaged part can't > do very well. To finish my research I thought I'd see > what would happen if I repaired one of these brains so > that they could use it. The total useable brain would > then be phenomenal.". > > It suddenly dawned on me what the alien was saying. > > "WHAT!!! You could repair my brain damage?!!" > > "Sure. Basically I just laser burn the injured tissue and > replace it with cloned cells from the good part. Of > course I map the synapse network before burning, and > impose the lattice on the new cells - piece of cake - a > size 5 could do it. You'd end up with this virgin brain > area where you can think new thoughts, fill with fresh > ideas." > > "What about all the secondary problems, the neck, back, > hip, feet, complications." > > "No, I just do the neuro fix, my size 7 head has no > skeletal information. You'd need an ortho size 7 for > that." > > I paused to think of what I'd learned. No more spasms. No > more drooling. No more continuous repetition just to be > understood. No more CP - my friend for decades. > > Yet I'd still have all the neck/back/hip/feet pain - but > without the very visible reason for it. Would I be fit for > "normal" life - when my whole life up till now had been > fitted to my disability. > > This and much more flashed through my brain. > > "Bo, I'm really sorry but you are going to have to find > someone else to test your theory." > > A disappointed look crossed Bo's face. > > "What possible reason have you got for turning down my > offer." > > "My wife would kill me!!" > > > > > Deri James > 12th March 2001 ------------------------------------------------------------- Sign up for ICQmail at http://www.icq.com/icqmail/signup.html