In a message dated 5/11/00 7:54:45 AM Eastern Daylight Time, [log in to unmask] writes: << 4. "Spare the rod and spoil the child", though much quoted, is in fact a misinterpretation of Biblical teaching. While the "rod" is mentioned many times in the Bible, it is only in the Book of Proverbs that this word is used in connection with parenting. In fact, King Solomon's harsh methods of discipline led his own son, Rehoboam, to become a tyrannical and oppressive dictator who only narrowly escaped being stoned to death for his cruelty. In the Bible there is no support for harsh discipline outside of Solomon's Proverbs. Jesus saw children as being close to God, and urged love, never punishment.3 >> Solomon wrote most of Proverbs which is a book of wise sayings to teach people how to live godly lives through the repetition of wise thoughts. The Key Verse being "The fear of the Lord is the beginning of knowledge, but fools despise wisdom and discipline" Proverbs 23:13-14, "Do not withhold discipline from a child; if you punish him with the rod, he will not die. Punish him with the rod and save his soul from death." Proverbs 28:14-16 "Blessed is the man who always fears the Lord, but he who hardens his heart falls into trouble. Like a roaring lion or a charging bear is a wicked man ruling over a helpless people. A tyrannical ruler lacks judgement, but he who hates ill-gotten gain will enjoy a long life." Although Solomon was blessed with wisdom and knowledge from God, he married women who worshiped false gods and this was contary to God's law, "You must not intermarry with them, because they will surely turn your hearts after their gods." In later years, Solomon did turn away from God and led the nation into worshipping idols due to the influence of these wives. His spiritual coldness started with a minor departure from God's law and grew as he excused it which led to his downfall. In the end, the Lord said, "Since this is your attitude and you have not kept my convenant and decrees which I commanded, I will tear the kingdom away from you...." His son, Rehoboam must have gotten an unbalanced picture of leadership from his father. Apparently, Rehoboan saw only the difficulty of leading the nation, not the opportunities. His demands were based on selfishness rather than reason or spiritual discernment. He mentioned only the harsher aspects of Solomon's rule, and he decided to be very harsh toward the people. Rehoboam rejected the advise of Solomon's older counselors who knew the situation better and he sought the counsel of his peers instead. It is easy to follow the advise of peers because they often feel as we do, but their views are usually limited because they lack experience. And those who insist on having it all often wind up with little or nothing. The scripture stands! Interpretations by those who choose to justify sin, disobedience or improper motivation tend to rationalize or misquote passages to support their views. The association between disciplining a child using Godly principles and the development of a tyrannical ruler falls into this category. To say that a parent who disciplines a child under Godly teaching cannot have the love of Christ is an absolute contradiction of truth and is totally unfounded. The New Testament also discusses disciplining of us by God. Hebrews 12:5-6, "My son, do not make light of the Lord's discipline, and do not lose heart when He rebukes you because the Lord disciplines those He loves, and He punishes everyone He accepts as a son." So as parents consider your responsibilities with your children, you should always be sure to temper words of compliant with words of joy. Otherwise you may sour your children's attitutudes toward you. The Bible shows us the failures of others so we can learn from their sin's and rely on the Bible to teach us right from wrong. Cindy