let me put it a little simpler, Lisa: they all look very much alike--big and husky, obviously like the same family. When I truly severed ties and developed my own identity, I looked entirely different from them--to the point of startling people from the past when they see me. the idea of codependency being a LINK between mind and body is very self-evident to me now--it is the basis of all other problems. Codependency is the perversion of tribalism in which weaker members are hounded to their death --unless they break OUT and grow UP to selfhood. Split from self (in order to adapt to the system), we don't even exist except as a PROJECTION from them--which is very bad news.